Ok so last night I got the bright idea I would do my own taxes. Now you have to remember I have never done them before. I have always had someone to do them for me. Mainly Dennis. Last year I paid someone. But this year I decided to do the “Turbo Tax”--- quick and easy……….yea right. Save money…. Ok we will go with that. But I call BS on that note. Well I log in and get started. I wind up realizing I have no clue what I am doing. About half way through I am so damn mad I am spitting nails. How can this be so complicated?? Why can’t the government do this for you? I mean they are up in everything else. Why not this?? They are the ones that screwed up this whole system. I mean most people either have to pay or get a refund. Seems to me if the government was doing things right you would break even more often than not. But oh well here I go…… Now when I am so fired up and mad Dennis comes to pick up Dylan and he realizes this. I have no clue how he knew. (umm well maybe I do) He of course offers to help. And well if you know me you know how that went. In my best exorcist, head spinning around, voice I proclaimed…… NO I GOT THIS I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to take a ball bat to his skull in that moment. I was thinking how could he even ask such a question??? After all HE is the reason I have to do this in the first place. WAIT!!! What did I just think?? Do I really believe that?? Then it dawns on me……I am still very bitter about the divorce. After over a year and half I still get so mad at him. Now don’t get me wrong more often than not we are good to/with each other. He is a good friend and a good Dad but my anger gets the best of me sometimes. This JOB was his. He was suppose to be taking care of this for me. Now don’t get me wrong I want to take care of myself and I can but doesn’t it feel nice when someone takes care of something for you?? Part of my fairy tale… I am a Princess mind set. Now the truth is I have always taken care of myself and more often than not those around me. But sometimes I want to be taken care of. I want to have someone to lean on. And if I am being honest I feel like he stole that from me. It makes me so damn angry I could/do scream. Why did he have to ruin my fairy tale?? Who gave him the right to take my dream of growing old together?? So I decide I do need some help so I pick up the phone to call a friend and before they can answer I hang up. No I got this!!! I am a survivor. I am capable and I will do this. And I did!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I may get audited…I may not have done it right…I may have lost money….but I did it my way!!!! Oh yea that is right I actually channeled Elvis through my body and sang at the top of my lungs while I was folding laundry……I DID IT MY WAY!!!!!-- Now the question is…..will I ever let go of the bitterness??? Will I ever trust again??? Will I let this wall down??? Will I ever have another fairy tale?? Is there a Prince/King out there for me???? Hummm doesn’t even seem remotely possible right now…..Oh and BTW I saved a whole frickin $10!!!! Whoop whoop I will need that to buy Advil with for where I ate so many from getting a headache over the taxes and the anger……………..Happy Tax days my peeps. If you need some help call me…..okay maybe not!!!!!
Posted on: Wed, 05 Mar 2014 04:57:47 +0000
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