Okay.... Because it was a nice day out, had my windows opened all day and cleaned for a couple of hours and decided to take a walk. So I thought Id kill 2 birds with one stone with the anxiety with making specialist visits that Ive been postponing forever (well not forever but THREE YEARS) other then an outpatient procedure I had last fall at Hennepin County Medical Center and a medical test I had a week and half that even though they were nice last year and a week and a half ago, I still have horrible anxiety whenever I set foot on campus of a hospital (They were horrible to me 9 1/2 years ago in all honesty when I didnt have insurance. So much so that I didnt seek medical attention for over a year with active ulcers and went back to Fairview University Medical Center where had my gastric bypass and reversal a zillion times but not without getting admitted where my PCP practices in 2006 but that hospital is far away and too small where I had no choice to go back to FUMC).....But HCMC has been awesome since late last summer as far as being nice and treating me with respect.... I picked a crappy time to go for a walk, its rush hour and crazy busy. So Im getting closer to the Metrodome, but still on campus of HCMC (it encompasses several blocks) when I can see with the Metrodome now demolished, FUMC (also HUGE) clear as day. And proceed to have the panic attack from HELL. So much so that I dont remember much of the rest of my walk, which is NOT good. As that happened 5 minutes into my walk and I was gone for 45 minutes. Im sick of being sick (that Im SOL) but Ill be damned if I let it get worse without a fight. Im sick of being scared. I did file a grievance last fall with FUMC, specifically with that ER visit that I had 2/2013 that the ER doctor FROM HELL walked in 2 hours after I arrived (Its a level 2 trauma center but the ER was DEAD, Ive been in both the ER and inpatient of that hospital a zillion times and know it like the back of my hand) and treated me like a hysterical hypochondriac (Ive had to call my longterm PCP to intervene and advocate for me every ER visit Ive had in the last 3 1/2 years) and she still did NOTHING . My grievance was for that visit and that Id been labeled for years as a drug seeking hypochondriac which I felt had adversely effected my treatment by multiple medical doctors (it was clear that this was NOT against my bariatric surgeon) ...... I didnt get any where other than they disagreed and wished me good luck at HCMC. So tonight I decided to redo my walk from this afternoon. And when I got to that same spot that caused my panic attack, I gave FUMC, the finger (very mature, I know, but it was healing)....And decided that I dont have anything to be afraid of anymore with doctors, I have a lot more to be afraid of if I get anymore disabled ..... I cant wait any longer to see specialists. I am going to make appointments tomorrow, finally. And one of them is going to be at FUMC. Its a terrible way to deal with fear of doctors that one just ceases to see them. Im not abusive or abrasive, Im pretty assertive (unless in a medical crisis) then Im a mush and I STILL got treated like crap. NO MORE....
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 01:21:59 +0000
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