Okay, now the second of the two promised postings. One of my grandmothers used to tell all of us grand kids to chew each mouthful of food at least twenty-seven times before swallowing. Where did the number twenty-seven come from? No idea. All of us grand kids thought she was nuts and we immediately ignored her. Turns out that might not have been a wise thing to do. As many of us do in these hectic days, I tend to eat while doing other things. Ill be working on my computer, getting caught up on reading, watching TV, roofing the house, etc. Ill tear off a chunk of sandwich, chew a couple of times and swallow. (Not sure why I felt I had to mention that because its a fairly standard procedure.) Still, that chew a couple of times part is probably the important part. Twice in the past year, Ive paid inadequate attention to that part and have ended up getting food caught in my throat. Turns out some of the air that enables us to continue to breathe arrives and departs our bodies through our throats. After 59 years of breathing, Ive become REALLY fond of the process and when something stops me from breathing, consternation sets in. The first time this happened in the past year I was with my son and a bunch of my friends at one of my favorite restaurants in Parsons. In the past, drinking water has forced the inadequately chewed food (in this case, a chicken taco) down my throat and all is well. That didnt work that time at the Parsons restaurant though and I embarrassed a sizable number of my friends and my son in a very crowded restaurant. Let me just say there was considerable public flailing, twitching and water expulsion. One of my friends finally caught on that I was not playing charades and he attempted a pretty weak Heimlich maneuver and dislodged the aforementioned chicken taco. After it became evident that I probably wouldnt die, it became a very funny topic of conversation for the rest of the night among my friends and my son. You might notice I didnt mention me in that last sentence. Not an oversight. Anyway, yesterday the same thing happened with a turkey burger. Good news/bad news with this: Good news: I wasnt out in public and the embarrassment factor was 0. Bad news: I wasnt out in public and the only sentient being in my immediate vicinity was my Jack Russell Terrier Rookie. Rookie has not even taken a BEGINNERS Heimlich class. So for a scary few seconds I though I was going to have to attempt to crawl over to my neighbors house to see if they would call the ambulance for me. Fortunately, through an extended period of jumping, gurgling, twitching, retching, heaving, some more twitching, hocking, some pretty inspired flailing and finally, a little more twitching, I was able to get the turkey burger chunk to get up from its nap and continue to finally travel down to my stomach. Crisis averted. So, to sum up, after 59 years, it just occurred to me yesterday that, not once did my grandmother ever choke on a chicken taco or a turkey burger. Maybe that whole chew your food twenty-seven times wasnt such a goofy idea after all. Have a great Friday and dont forget to chew!
Posted on: Fri, 05 Dec 2014 15:46:32 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015