Okay, real life, just happened to me story - soooo, Im taking the dog out for her late night potty trip. My neighborhood is filled with old people and is super quiet at night so I decide to carry her (shes a Pomeranian so its no biggie) vs. putting her on the leash. We stroll casually to the usual spot. As I put her down to let her run to the grassy area I notice that as I put my phone down, SOMETHING ELSE IS WRAPPED AROUND MY FINGERS. Ladies and gentlemen - that something else was the biggest spider Ive EVER encountered in real life. And its got its legs wrapped around my hand!!!! Add to this I can feel its fat body between my palm and the back of my cell phone. Now my mind rapid fire went through a few scenarios: 1) run like a crazy person, stripping off clothes and screaming like a banshee and hope the dog follows me and the neighbors dont call the police 2) scream my face off and fall dead right there in the parking lot and hope the dog doesnt eat my dead body and my neighbors dont run over my corpse 3) fling my hand like a baseball pitcher in the hopes that the tarantula like beast flies off, let out a muted yell that for some reason sounds like the deformed dude in The Goonies, beat myself like a crack head while spinning in circles and then take off running like Im back in high school days at the track meet of my life. ...I chose the latter. Thank goodness the dog followed me. Probably out of sheer delight at The Silly Human. Ugh...Ive got a serious case of the heebie jeebies. Nerves are too shot to even hold my wineglass....
Posted on: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 04:45:10 +0000
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