Okay, so, after careful consideration and copious pondering, I am finally able to make a consistent argument for why I hate the Nightmare on Elm Street remake beyond just simple OMFGRAGEEE. But first, since I am a scholar and a gentleman, I shall acknowledge the good: 1) The story. I hate to say it, but the overall story was more well-put together and, frankly, more interesting than the original. The idea of making Freddy a gardener who actually knew all of the main characters when they were little--and thus relating them back to one another in a direct way--really gives it a sense of cohesiveness the original didnt quite have. Also, the idea of micro-naps happening as a result of sleep deprivation on top of the sleep deprivation-induced insanity makes it feel a little more believable, more carefully pondered. 2) Jackie Earl Haley. Surprising, I know. While he will never be the same as our dear Robert Englund, his take on the character was more scary than the wise-cracking Freddy were all used to. He gave the character a true, demented twist that Englunds gleefully psychotic Freddy never quite got to. While I will always prefer Robert Englund, Jackie Earl Haley did a better job than most people credit him for. AND NOW, for the bad: 1) The special effects. TOO. MUCH. CGI. I can kind of understand why they would use CGI for the classroom scene, what with the sudden shift in environment and all. But to use CGI on the claws coming through the wall scene is absolutely ridiculous. The use of spandex in 1984 looked better, was scarier, and was more well-done. The CGI wall crap just looked ridiculous, laughable. Not scary at all. Furthermore, they literally CGId half of Freddys face. HIS FREAKING FACE. Much of Jackie Earl Haleys face was covered in green screen stuff so they could add in the effect later. I just, I, I cant. 2) Rooney Mara. Her piss-poor attitude toward the movie shows in her performance, if you can even call it a performance. Nancy is such an important character in the Nightmare canon. Comparing her to Heather Langenkamp is completely unfair, since they are two different people, and ths, two different takes on the character. Nevertheless, shes a freaking Oscar-nominated actress, she could have done SO MUCH with this role, and she just had no energy. No fire. She openly admitted that she just showed up to work, said her lines, and got her paycheck. And it shows. Yeah, horror re-makes are usually bad, but if the people on board at least try their best, it can be one of the better remakes. That was not your best, dear. 3) Lack of cameos. Speaking of Heather Langenkamp, where the hell was she?! Not to mention Lisa Wilcox, Amanda Wyss, Tuesday Knight, or even Mark Patton? I mean, Im not expecting Johnny Depp, or even Patricia Arquette, but, I mean, numerous actors from the original series approached the people involved about a cameo. There was no reason it couldnt happen. But it didnt anyway. Hollywood. >_< 4) The characters. Okay, obviously, taking the same story with the same characters and different actors would have been redundant. But the characters in this movie were just generic and bland. None of them had developed personalities. They had a common backstory, but that still kept any of them from being interesting or sympathetic. So, yeah. Gripe-fest over. /endrant
Posted on: Thu, 10 Oct 2013 22:55:50 +0000
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