Old Computer Terms, BIT: A word used to describe computers, as in Our sons computer cost quite a bit. BOOT: What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skills. BUG: What your eyes do after you stare at the big mean computer screen for more than 15 minutes. Also: what computer magazine companies do to you after they get your name on their mailing list. CHIPS: The fattening, non-nutritional food computer users eat to avoid having to leave their keyboards for meals. COPY: What you have to do during school tests because you spend too much time at the computer and not enough time studying. CURSOR: What you turn into when you cant get your computer to perform, as in You $#% computer! DISK: What goes out in your back after bending over a computer keyboard for seventeen hours at a clip. DUMP: The place all your former hobbies wind up soon after you install your computer. ERROR: What you made the first time you walked into a computer showroom to just look. EXPANSION UNIT: The new room you have to build on to your home to house your computer and all its peripherals. Old Computer Terms, FLOPPY: The condition of a constant computer users stomach due to lack of exercise and a steady diet of junk food (see Chips). HARDWARE: Tools, such as lawn mowers, rakes and other heavy equipment you havent laid a finger on since getting your computer. IBM: The kind of missile your family members and friends would like to drop on your computer so youll pay attention to them again. MENU: What youll never see again after buying a computer because youll be too poor to eat in a restaurant. MONITOR: Often thought to be a word associated with computers, this word actually refers to those obnoxious kids who always want to see your hall pass at school. PROGRAMS: Those things you used to look at on your television before you hooked your computer up to it. RETURN: What a lot of people do with their computers after only a week and a half. TERMINAL: A place where you can find buses, trains and really good deals on hot computers. WINDOW: What you heave the computer out of after you accidentally erase a program that took you three days to set up. New Lyrics While listening to an oldies radio station, my six-year-old evidently got the 60s mixed up with the 21st century... Instead of singing along, Goin to the chapel And were gonna get married, I heard him sing, Goin to the chat room And were gonna get married. More Quotes... My dads a writer. His favorite expression is The pens mightier than the sword, which I believed for a long time. Until I moved into the city, and I got into a fight with this guy. He cut me up real bad, and I drew a mustache on his face...and then I wrote him a nasty letter. --Kevin Brennan --- I love my dentist. He has an X ray of his family in the waiting room. --Robert G. Lee --- Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and when he grows up, hell never be able to edge his car onto a freeway. -- Unknown Saying Grace A Sunday School teacher was trying to explain about saying grace before meals. One of the pupils was the young son of the minister of that church, so she started the discussion by asking him, Jerry, what does your father say when the family sits down to dinner? Jerry answered, Dad says, Go easy on the butter, kids, its three dollars a pound!
Posted on: Tue, 07 Oct 2014 15:46:40 +0000