Olympic Diary, Day 4 Crises averted! I was nearly disqualified to snowboard for the Falkland Islands when it was revealed that in order to compete a foreign-born individual must be married to a natural citizen. I wracked my brain for a bit, but finally figured it out. Forrest took the news of the annulment well and we hope to remain friends. One of the odd things about being in the Olympic village is all the media. It seems like everyone from Oprah to the BBC wants interviews or photos. The US Olympic Media Team has been doing a stand-out job. They contacted me today to see if I would be interested in appearing on Maury, claiming that Brian Boitano was the father of my illegitimate child. I refused on the grounds that we really wouldn’t need a DNA test to prove that one false. Much has been made of the fact that Sochi seems ill-prepared to host these games and I have to admit they may have a point. When I went into town today to buy a snowboard I was told that there wasn’t a single snowboarding shop in town. You’d think there’d be that kind of thing for people who didn’t know until the last minute they’d be competing. Luckily I found a listing on Vladslist for a used slalom water ski, which I have been told will work just as well. With most of the athletes already here, the US team will be taking our official photo tomorrow. We were supposed to meet up at the figure skating venue, but since they forgot to put doors on the building, the location has been moved to the girls’ gymnasium at Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn Middle School. I’m loving each day’s celebrity sighting and have to admit to being a bit star-struck. Today, quite by accident, I ran into Billy Joe Bob Tureen, who came in third on the fifth season of “Nashville’s Got Talent While Dancing With Bachelors on Ice.” In an odd coincidence, it was he who had the used water ski for sale. Tonight I’m going with friends to the South African House for free Vuvuzela lessons. Later, on the “All Putin, All the Time” channel, our hero guest stars on “CSI: Novosibirsk” as a professional snow leopard smuggler. Missing you all, Lisa
Posted on: Thu, 06 Feb 2014 10:21:47 +0000
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