On Loneliness... There are 7,148,000,000 people on the earth. Behavioral Statisticians estimate that 75-85% of those individuals are lonely. Being lonely is not the same as being alone. Essentially, we are all alone. And we are not. But most of us experience a deep sense of loneliness at some point or other in our lives. Being an only child, I know this feeling quite intimately. It is safe to say that I have actually never been alone because the very feeling of alone-ness has been my closest and inseparable companion since childhood. Putting aside all this melancholy, I have tried to understand this pervasive feeling of being alone and Ive found it to be quite necessary. First, it forces us to deal with our own darkness. Most of us divert ourselves when faced with loneliness. Going to a movie, watching TV, or spending time with those wed rather avoid are all things we do to escape the seeming pain of being lonely. In truth, the only pain we may experience when we are lonely, arises when we attempt to avoid the rather enlightening lessons about our true selves this misunderstood emotion wishes to teach us. Second, it is in our loneliness- in the midst of the intense pangs of desire for connection that we are most supremely human. It is one of the few truly elevating (though torturous) emotions which connects us to every other person on the planet. In this view, loneliness is our USB port to the World Wide Web. Third, sometimes we just need to be alone. We need to befriend ourselves. We need to come to the realization that while we certainly do enter and exit this world alone, we also do indeed make the journey of life in a state of inescapable alone-ness. This realization is simply impossible when hanging out, or when pursuing meaningless diversions. Finally, we must also develop an intimate understanding of the nuances engendered by the feeling of loneliness. In the depths of discovering that there never was anyone, and it was, is, and always will be only us that must do the living, We embrace the concept that being lonely has nothing to do with other people. It is not a reflection of the quantity or quality of relationships, or the lack thereof. Instead, it has more to do with our feelings towards ourselves. In our isolation or loneliness, we cannot anymore escape ourselves. And it is at that brilliant, soul-shaping moment that we are faced with the question: would I befriend myself? Am I worthy of love? When, and I suggest we must, find that the answer to both queries is a resounding Yes!, the purpose of our pain has been served and we are alone no more. This was a depressing post. But thanks for reading anyway. :)
Posted on: Wed, 25 Jun 2014 17:17:45 +0000
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