On March 15th I learned that my beloved Bo had cancer. In an instant the years flashed thru my mind, along with all the things we have done. Playing in the river, beach trips, nose prints on my truck windows, footprints on my heart. The time we went thru a checkpoint and he gave the officer a fright! The thunderstorms he hated. The times after we brought him home and I would all but beg this dog to lay with me in bed, pick him up and put him there, just for him to climb down once I turned my back. The times when Mason & Victoria were little and would venture off exploring the field behind our house, Bo was never far behind them always looking back at me as if to say Ive got them mom. Ive always loved animals, but have never been really attached to one. Until him. He came into my life after a divorce when I needed someone to just be there. Dont talk, dont give me advice. The weekends when the bebes were gone I wasnt alone, I had him. The day we learned that Bo was sick we came home and spent the following days loving him even more. The no people food rule went right out the window! As I lay on the couch with him on my chest I just prayed for strength to endure this. I came home last night and knew that it was time. For the second time in my life I fell to my knees begging for help and strength to do this. I am a praying soul. But this kind of despair Ive only felt twice. Once when Mason was born early and nobody could tell me if he would live or die, and last night. I wish that feeling on no one. Almost 4 months later I sit on this couch wondering how the following days will measure up without him here. Heres our story...I went out to rescue a dog that day. To give him a really good life. To take him away from the dreaded place, free from trouble and strife. I had seen him on Craigslist, posted by Wake County Animal Shelter. I emailed them immediately and was told the shelter opened on Sunday at 1, but come early. As we waited for an hour for them to open I wondered what if he doesnt like me? I walked into the shelter wondering how I would choose another and if not him which it would be. Then at the end of the row I saw him, just as he saw me. Into the foyer we went and he ran around, came back and sat at my feet. I thought I had gone there to pick him but you see he really picked me. I thought I was doing him a favor, and Id be a good person to him. I was doing my part, I adopted instead of buying him. But what do you think really happened? That day that I did my good deed. I found a love Id only imagined, and fulfilled in myself a need. A void I didnt know existed. An emptiness I never realized that I had. The moment he sat at my feet I realized how much I needed him, just never knew how bad. Throughout his life he was right by my side; I finally got him on that bed (then couldnt get him off!) Whether in the yard or in the house, at my feet hed always be. This dog Ive loved and Ive cared for, he made me see things I needed to see. My sweet Bo that I thought I rescued... really rescued me. There will never be another to own my heart like he did. For that Im both thankful and torn apart. Far from my thoughts he will never be, and always in my heart. (As you finish this please understand that even though my heart is broken I/We have been so blessed. 3 of my friends lost their dogs much faster that we lost Bo. Amy, Shannon & Ashley... your hurt is still in my heart) Please keep us in your prayers in the coming days as we adjust to life without him in it. I have lost my very best friend & my bebes have lost their trusted protector.
Posted on: Fri, 11 Jul 2014 16:39:46 +0000
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