On Saying No! There is pleasure in giving and feeling needed has its own rewards, but what happens when giving and the need to be needed gathers a life of its own and you dont know how to say no? You become overloaded, exhausted and put upon. The word no is often linked with aggressiveness and authority so its small wonder you feel powerless and fearful to expect a different outcome. Its likely that you employ other strategies like avoidance and telling of untruths to get you off the hook. Recognising and accepting that you are a person too and that forfeiting your own needs to serve others is not always healthy. Would you like to feel strong? Calm? In control while remaining kind and caring? You can, here are some wonderful tips for you to practise and develop into your own genuine style that keep you connected to others while lovingly asserting yourself. 1. Buy yourself some time before you respond. Eg let me think about that, I will let you know/get back to you when I can. 2. Avoid over explaining, gushing, giving excuses. Try to stay centred before you respond. 3. Responding with: Oh Tom I would love to help you out but I have made plans. I hope things work out for you. Practising these three simple steps puts you lovingly in the drivers seat of your life. Remember to congratulate yourself, you are learning something new. You are Precious, look after You. Julia Toffolon - Holistic Counselling, Psycho-Spiritual Healing & Reiki
Posted on: Thu, 13 Mar 2014 09:31:07 +0000
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