On Sunday evening, I became a cutter. Chronic pain, being housebound, and marital issues have taken a huge toll on me, and on Craig as well, and to ease the pain, to distract myself from all the self hate, I found the sharpest object at hand and started cutting. Fortunately there wont be lasting scars, at least not physical. On Monday I tried admitting myself in an inpatient program, but because I wasnt suicidal, homicidal, or psychotic, nobody would take me. I tried group therapy yesterday, but its just not for me. I would end up never saying a word. I believe theres a hormonal aspect to a lot of this, and, considering all my hormonal issues already, it makes sense. I suspect premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD, as a big culprit. I also know now that I need to have a real psychiatrist handling my mental health meds - I love my doctor, but there is only so much she can do for me. This weekend has been important to my own healing and recovery, as it gave me a little more insight as to what is really going on. Im hopeful that the hormonal component can be treated easily, so that I, and we, can focus more on the rest.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 18:09:22 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015