On a happier note. Heres part 4...part 5 in half an hour :) #Lilcub The Boy - Part FOUR So the day came, when I heard Amelia had dumped “the boy” and was now with my ugly cousin. I wanted to ugly fob laugh in his ugly face, unbeknownst to me as to why I had no inkling of remorse for him at all! I rode out the “good job” train and watched him become a recluse. There was another drinkup and awkwardly enough, we were all there. Me, “the boy”, Amelia & funnily enough my ugly cousin didn’t turn up that night, so it didn’t surprise me that Amelia went back in to the arms of “the boy” and he, willingly took her back in. Turned out my ugly cousin had his turn with her, and he was over it. Which sucked for Amelia, cos now it had become a yucky Jerry Springer circle of love, lies, deceit and revenge cos this is where it gets juicy! A couple of weeks later rumours start floating around that Amelia was pregnant, but because not many people knew about the drink up night Amelia spent with “the boy” everyone assumed it was my ugly cousins baby. Actually I don’t know when she became pregnant? If it was before her and my ugly cousin started, during or after they dated cos they were only together for a little while. Because my ugly cousin had removed himself from her equation before she announced she was pregnant, everyone assumed he was a loser for not taking up responsibility for his actions and blah blah blah. When in actual fact, Amelia goes on to confess that “the boy” was in fact her baby daddy. During this time, “the boy” hardly had any contact with Amelia and we started hanging out more and more. Forgiveness peered it’s head around the corner and convinced me that this is what I had to do. I have to admit that it was one of the hardest pills to swallow, cos I still had a massive chip on my shoulder, I was cautious, weary and I knew things would never go back to the way they used to be. And as much as I still loved him, there would always be that reluctance to let him in any closer. But by this time, me and “the boy” were sorta OK, and his Mom had announced to him and his siblings that they were moving back to Samoa cos their Grandma was sick and she had to go look after her. I was gutted all over again cos we were still mending whatever it was we had managed to salvage, and now he was getting uprooted out of my life all over again. And plus Amelia had written him a letter telling him the baby was his and yeah he wouldn’t tell me what else she said and to be honest I really didn’t want to know. Time was evading us faster than we could contemplate and thus came the day that he would be leaving me, again. We shared his last night together. We didn’t do anything, didn’t even cuddle cos it was just awkward. I remember him asking me if I wanted him to stay cos he’d stay if I asked him to. But I refused reiterating the fact that your Grandma might not make it, and I won’t be the reason you never saw her again. I was overwhelmed with a massive dose of “specialness” of him even asking me made me remember all the reasons why I fell in love with him, why I still loved him. So D-Day arrived. A whole stampede of us went to the airport to see them off, we had breakfast at the airport, and soaked in each other’s sombre silence. Not wanting to break the silence, but not knowing what to say at the same time. His flight started flashing “BOARDING” and his Mom announced they’d better go. I kissed and hugged his Mom and brothers and left him for last cos I knew I didn’t wanna let go. He dragged his feet over to me and swallowed me in his arms. And I squeezed me soooo tight. To which he replied by squeezing me tighter. If we held eachother any tighter we would melted into eachother or put each other to sleep like we were in a choke hold. I let go first, but he didn’t so I gently squeezed him again and I heard him whisper “I’m sorry Sarah” I just smiled into his neck and whispered back “Please don’t go, I need you”. With that I caught his sob in the crook of my neck, and he squeezed me once more, before He. Let. Go. And as soon as the finality of him leaving me hit home, my knees gave way and I almost crumpled into a quivering mess on the floor but ugly sister #3 caught me and hugged me so tight, crying with me, saying into my ear “Why didn’t you tell me?” over and over again, as I let all my snots cry themselves a river out of my nose and onto her hoodie. And like that… the sound of a tiny pebble hitting a glass door and shattering into a megazillion billion pieces, so did my heart obliterate within itself, beyond any form of recognition. And as I was sobbing, my sister kept saying “Sarah? How could I not see that you two were in love?” Which gave my body further permission to extinguish into even tinier pieces. She practically had to drag/carry me to the car, cos I was literally incapable of carrying myself anywhere but back into his arms. I loved him more than I could ever describe, for so many reasons. But essentially not because of what he did for me? But because of what he helped make of me? Even when he played a massive part in my construction and demolition. He loved me like no other boy could, and I loved him like no one else would.
Posted on: Mon, 02 Dec 2013 08:46:30 +0000
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