On a nature hike: Charlie: Daddy, we gotta find da perfect attack sticks. Foy da moose. Daddy: Oh man, do you think we will see a moose, Chuck? Charlie: Yeah so we gotta get prepared to fight it. Mommy: Hey hey hey, what if we just admired the moose from afar, watching it in all its majestic beauty living peacefully within this natural habitat. Daddy: Its natural habitat being a man-made mountain biking trail in Rockford, Michigan...? Mommy: (blank stare) Charlie: I am a man and know that moose are SO BIG. And they might be hungry foy somephing other den leaves to eat, like a baby or even you or me. So we need to be prepared to survive. Daddy: How big is a moose? Charlie: As big as da frickin TREES. Mommy: Hey dont say frickin. And I bet if we see a moose, it will be nice so we wont need to prepare for a battle with it. Plus, I think they are endangered animals, which is sad... Charlie: They are not in-dangered, Mommy, they are DANgered. Mommy: Oh. What is the difference? Charlie: IN dangered phings are like, inside a danger zone, making dem so danger-ful. And like, DANgered phings are super dangerous, so we need to prepare to fight dem. We dont wanna be lame. We dont wanna be by any dino-soy skulls, either. Ok? Ok, Mommy? Ok? Mommy: (blankly stares and worries that her children are watching too much Adventure Time) Daddy: I found the perfect attack stick, dude! Charlie: YEAH! (Commence father/son hi-five) The Animal Kingdom According To Chuck, Lesson 1: MOOSE Kingdom: Animalia Phylum: Chordata Class: Mammalia Habitat: Man-made mountain biking trails in Rockford, Michigan Conservation status: Dangered (which means you should be prepared to fight them for your survival) Size: As big as da frickin trees Strengths: Probably super hungry so they will eat a person if necessary Weaknesses: Attack sticks (so get looking if you dont want to die, ok)
Posted on: Tue, 09 Sep 2014 21:31:41 +0000
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