On the 23rd of March in Bali I made an enquiry. I asked myself: What would my heart enjoy even more deeply? You know that feeling when you want to live even more deeply the real you that you have become now?Well, this was one of those moments. I didnt get any specific answers. But I did get the message to wipe the slate clean. Days later, through a series of various events my whole life has been reset button pressed. I am now back in the void. In the mystery. Moment by moment deeper truth arising as it does. I am at ease knowing nothing but what is emerging from within the here. A new truth. There is vast comfort here. And total surrender. Deep comfort. Refreshing. Ive had a visitor recently in my new journey thus far. Bringing a symbolic confirmation. You know youve cleared something significant in a past relationship when an ex-partner shows up and says Im sorry I hurt you. I wanted to cherish you but couldnt. I wanted to realize the fullness of who I am while with you. Im sorry I was angry. Im sorry I blamed you. Im really, really sorry I blamed you. I want to make up for that. What can I do to make up for it? I paused, felt for my deepest answer and said Just be love. And take action on whatever your impulses tell you to. When our physical journey ended a couple of years back, I made a choice in my heart to stay open. I did that for me. I knew I wanted to clear up my vibration... because if I do not have peace and appreciation even around one subject/ person in my life then I do not have full love in my heart. And I wasnt going to have that by shutting him out, needing anything from him or by even being with him. I was going to do it the place where it truly counts... me with me. Through my vibration... and that means by ACTIVELY choosing better-feeling thoughts when my stories arose. Through feeling the relief of connecting to a higher truth... through coming back to me, and dropping all projections. So I went straight to the top by tapping into something that was now my natural strength anyway... connecting to appreciation (I had trained myself years ago to do this instead of complaining or focusing on whats missing. Its truly one of the secrets of why my life has been so amazing over the years.) He was my opportunity to take this appreciation stuff to another level. I chose to appreciate him and love him UNCONDITIONALLY. (Now, please understand, we had been to hell together.... I mean total hell previously.) I choose active appreciation... I did not need anything in return from him. I no longer needed him to change. His journey is his. And mine has been with me. I did not need him to understand why I continued to lavish him with appreciation in the moments when inspired. I stuck to my own promise even, and especially during, the moments when he was in pain and hurtling hurtful stuff at me. I just knew I had to honour my own heart, by continuing with appreciation regardless. Today, he understands. Thank you Guy for showing up here for a few days ... for following your impulses. I appreciate the freedom we have given each other to be who we are, and keep finding ourselves authentically honouring the heart connection that has remained alive. In this freedom, free from agenda or expectation, free from force or will... just peaceful space... I appreciate the yummy smoothies and meals you made for us, removing the fat dead rat from my laundry (!), writing me a beautiful note when I was on the phone, initiating doing fun things together, nature walks, pruning the shrubs, sharing sacred time by the river in stillness, chanting and deep reflection of the meaning of Water in my life. Most importantly though, thank you for the SPACE for my deepest insights to arise and for the flood of tears that poured and poured yet were so fully held in love. I am blessed. An even richer life of meaning has begun for me. And .... just like in the movie that we watched Now Is Good with the message that life is a series of moments - let them go I remain fully open and ripe to what arises now. Namaste. {{{ I hope you all enjoy feeling the resonance of my experience through the photos here}}}
Posted on: Wed, 02 Apr 2014 04:22:05 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015