On this 27th day of Ramadan, I would like to share with you my thoughts on the issue of HUMAN NEEDS. There are different ways of describing human needs. The most common ones are Maslow’s hierarchy of needs; Stephen R Covey’s Live, Love, Learn and Leave a Legacy; and Tony Robbins’ description of the 6 basic human needs – the need for: Certainty, Uncertainty/ Variety, Love/Connection, Significance / Distinction, Growth, and Contribution beyond oneself. Studies have shown that all of our activities are motivated by satisfying these needs individually or in combination. These needs are so powerful that people will violate their long held beliefs and cherished values in order to satisfy them. For today I will just scratch the surface of two needs and relate them to our situation, namely the seemingly opposite but complementary needs of CONNECTION AND SIGNIFICANCE. We all need to feel both connected to others, especially to our families and loved ones but at the same time we need to feel significant and unique. Interestingly I have observed that in western societies where most people live in small nuclear families, there is ample opportunities for us to feel significant, but due the life style, people are not as much connected to each other as needed. Hence there is a great craving for connection. That is why people like to be called with their first names because it conveys a feeling of connection and familiarity. In Eastern societies where most people live in extended family situation, the need for connection is amply satisfied – even over satisfied. In this situation the few family members who have either cultural or economic power over the rest of the family will actually belittle others in order to feel significant. That is why in such societies there a great craving for significance. One way to satisfy this need is through the use of the titles such as Dr sahib, engineer sahib, mudir sahib, mulla sahib, haji sahib etc. and if people do not have professional qualifications, they are called khalifa sahib and shabji or some other form of sahib, so they will feel significant…… something good to know and think of. Now you know my take on why we have so many titles and sahibs in those societies and so few in the west (excepting the hereditary titles in some European societies).
Posted on: Mon, 05 Aug 2013 03:32:56 +0000
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