On this day last year, after an amazing childhood, an awful adolescence, two years of AmeriCorps, the worst possible year spent in Philadelphia, and the most rewarding summer ever spent working at my beloved Camp Sealth, I chose to leave my family, friends, friends I thought I had, everything I knew and the past behind on the east coast and make Oregon my home. Knowing that the last four years of my life were spent in 2-10 month increments and that Id moved more times than I count on one hand during that time, this is a big deal. I still say it was the clouds that drew me in. Those white, fluffy puffs of cotton hanging low in the Corvallis summer sky that made me want to throw my head back and let them fall into my mouth as I flew back from the grocery store on my bike with Emma. We dont have clouds like that where I grew up. Here on the west coast, though, we dont have fireflies...but I think Id accept their absence for the transformative year Ive encountered. On this day last year, I waved goodbye to camp and was dropped off by a friend at my Portland apartment that I didnt even have until two days before and sat on the floor of my bedroom closet with boxes piled high, photos scattered around me, and no job, crying and thinking maybe I rushed into things. I then decided that those things didnt matter. I wanted to be there and I worked for it, so I would just work harder and if things didnt turn out, it was no big deal; clearly I just wasnt meant to be there. But apparently, I am. I began school again, got a job doing what I love, left that job, got another job doing what I love, fell into strong like, stopped worrying so much, got a pet, read some great books, met some beautiful people, moved in with the best roommate Ive ever had, made so much art, cried for every single emotion, and have written far too many songs and poems to count. But more than anything, I looked up at the clouds. I looked up and remembered why the universe put me here and what Ive been called to do. I have taken on many aliases in this past year, to include a giant super-genius baby, an alien from Pluto, a robot, and yes, the coolest teacher ever. Listen to your parents and your big sister sometimes-its incredible the things that will stick. This past year I have employed more wisdom strictly from them than Id care to admit. I call them often and thank them for not naming me something ridiculous like Jewelry and taking me to see the planes take off in DC and letting me get my own scrapes and bruises so that I may either learn not to do what causes them or learn to do it better. I call them to thank them for taking a backseat approach and letting me do my own thing 3,000 miles away but still picking up for me and instructing me to get blue Gatorade and tomato soup when I call sobbing with sickness. I realize now that through all of it, this whole year during those times I may have felt unsupported or maybe even a little alone, I never was. My familys light and words and tough love have all been here with me from the first day I walked out their door. And I know that at any time, I can go home and be greeted with a plate of spaghetti, an offer to play ball and a hair tousle from my dad saying welcome home kiddo, and a way too hot bath, a loving look from across the dining room, and a cup of tea from my mom. To all of you, including my parents, big sissy (Annastanzia), awesome little siblings, Sara, Jodi, Jessica, Sparkle, Kenneth, Shareen, Susan, Katelyn, Allie...thank you. I am excited to see what this next year holds.
Posted on: Thu, 28 Aug 2014 02:03:47 +0000
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