On this friday I give you..... I always wanted to be on stage telling jokes ,but i dont like crowds and the possibility of heckling, so to-day think Im gonna make believe Im on stage telling you jokes and ill rattle them off.... . A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why? they asked, as they moved off. because, he said I cant stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. I was in the A & P on Odell the other day and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, Are you two an item? So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says Your eyes sparkle like diamonds. I said, Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck. So there was this guy who entered a local papers pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. I bet on a horse last week odds at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four. A truck full of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a turtle disaster . Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you cant have your kayak and heat it too Ive got a friend whos fallen in love with two school bags, hes bisatcheler . My next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, hes a catholic converter. . A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: Im looking for the man who shot my paw. I tried water polo but my horse drowned. Ill tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners. Howd I do ? Taa Daa......
Posted on: Fri, 12 Sep 2014 13:22:23 +0000
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