On this trip out to Colorado we decided that we would start the tradition of picking up a Christmas tree ornament in memory of Alyssa. With this being our first Christmas without her I knew it needed to be extra special. Jeff, Scott, G and I headed up to Georgetown yesterday. After looking in several stores the perfect ornament we hit The Christmas store. I was waiting for the perfect one to jump out. Searching and carefully examining many. No luck. Then Jeff waves me over to him. He found Willow Tree ornaments. I saw this one with the rose. Alyssas favorite flower and picked it up to examine. The tag read Loving Angel. Love...pure and simple. So here I am in the middle of a crowded store letting the tears flow, clutching this beautiful little angel. I tell Jeff this has to be the one. We walk around Georgetown awhile longer then head back to Aurora to pick up Crystal and head to Estes Park for the Holiday lights. We are all browsing and enjoying each others company. We leave the last store and Scott says hold on I got something for Tina. He begins to carefully unwrap this small object. It is a wooden angel with Alyssas name. So again I am crying...this time in the street. However its ok, Im ok. I instead feel lucky to be surrounded by such loving people. My people. As we drive back to the Pickens home Crystal and I talk about Alyssa. We talk about all of the what ifs and what could have been. We talk about survivors guilt and we cry and hug. It was an emotional trip and yet a great trip! I am blessed in so many ways. Although Alyssa is no longer with us, when I talk about her she somehow doesnt feel as far away. I was truly blessed to have been her mom and am blessed to be surrounded by people who love and know us both. ♡♡♡
Posted on: Sun, 30 Nov 2014 21:59:20 +0000
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