One bad thread? Can one wrong-color thread woven throughout a tapestry ruin the entire piece? My Mary Jos cardiologist is pleased with her hearts strength and rhythm. Her orthopedist insists her ankle/foot fractures are fully healed, though she has pain when she tries to walk. Her neurologist feels her system is intact with recovery gradually taking place in each area affected by the strokes. The speech therapist says she can make all speech sounds properly and is improving in doing so. The general practitioner thinks she is within six months of being fully back on her feet –literally and figuratively—and that her current meds should minimize the likelihood that either blood clots, or break-away cholesterol plaque, will incite additional strokes. The overall picture, while not a masterpiece, is quite good. Except for the one off-color but highly significant thread: The will to try. She wants to want to. Wants to try, but doesnt have the will to do so. How can she, with things as they are right now? Not six months from now—right now. Much of the day, especially mornings, when she needs to be motivated, thoughts have to sift and struggle toward consciousness through deep fog. She is horribly weak. If she were to try to stand without support even for a few seconds, she would collapse. She cant take a step without pain. Her entire system insists that she lie down, now, curl into fetal position, and rest—it demands that she just must rest. Now! Food has little appeal, yet she must eat. She doesnt want company but needs the mental stimulation. She would have me dismiss permanently the therapists. She doesnt want anyone to stay with her if I must be away, but know, intellectually, that I must be away for short periods. She gets anxious if I am not present—drifts in and out of sleep, and cant keep up with how long Ive been gone. She cant imagine a good future here—except to rest and for me to be close by. Her want to is gone. Well, Ive unloaded a lot on you. But youve asked me to tell it straight. And Ive tried to. Just at this appropriate point I had a chuckle. PowderPuff (think of a long, healthy, low-to-the-ground, red fox) is sleeping on her side on the floor behind me, pointing a bit away from me. Just now she had, it seems, a very exciting dream: whimping, semi-barking, her side heaving with a leg twitch or two, as she likely either chased or fled from some imaginary critter. I pivoted toward her in my chair and said, Puff! Puffy, are you okay? Wake up! She raised her head, looked sheepishly over her shoulder at me and grinned and wagged her tail. And flopped back down and went back to sleep. Did you ever think of a dog as being able to look sheep-ish? Puff just did. How am I doing? I know youre concerned. Im fine. Not as well as PowderPuff, but all-in-all, fine. I have some shadows hanging over me, but I have hope that with Gods blessings well survive and be able to help Mary Jo make gradual progress and yet catch a vision of good days ahead. I still have exciting projects on the close horizon. I hope to tell you more soon. Hint: they involve additional writing and potentially some internet broadcasting that will be available to all. If we can bring them to fruition theyll let me stay home. Pray for me, and in a sense, join me in these efforts—especially as regards my being gentle, steadfast, and effective in helping Mary Jo, and in regard to using my years to bless others. If youd like to send Mary a get-well or other greeting card, or a note, our address is 625 Elrod Road, Bowling Green, KY, 42104. Getting several cards might be a spirit lifter. Im sorry to say that it is best not to call. I hope youre having a blessed, good, and happy day. Gratefully--Dale
Posted on: Tue, 22 Jul 2014 17:20:45 +0000
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