One day before my birthday and I have been talking to this girl who sounds too good to be true. We have awesome conversations where I drop my guard and let this person know me. I am not afraid to be honest, goofy or fragile when speaking with this person. Plans to hang out are made and then inexplicably broken. A photo that she sends me also happens to be featured on the Chive website. I start asking questions. She makes me feel like I am the crazy person. When I start to get too close to the truth, her and her friend (the only person I have met in real life who corroborates the existence of my dream girl) mysteriously disappears on Facebook and her phone number is now dead. The inescapable conclusion I now reach is that I have been catfished. Someone created a false identity to deceive me. This deception made me believe in a fallacy. It also made me re-examine what I want out of a relationship and recognize the self defense mechanisms I already have that often impedes a true and pure connection. I had a lot of walls up but this person made me want to drop them. The one positive thing I can take away from this experience is that despite their deception, I still dont want to put those walls back up and I want to be nothing but 100% honest with the next REAL person who wants to be honest with me. I dont know what their motivation was but the one thing that stings the most is that I really wanted what they dangled in front of me. I wish that they would show up in person to prove they are real. That seems like simple solution but they prefer radio silence. Despite a long string of sitcom-like romantic misadventures culminating in the ultimate sad sack I am falling for an imaginary person situation I find myself in, I am still an optimist and prefer to believe in the good qualities of people. I know that I have wronged people in the past and I know that there have been times where I deserved whatever relationship karma was coming my way but I feel like I have atoned for my sins and this is just getting absurd now. Like horrible romantic comedy insane now. I once thought that there was a group of evil ex girlfriends conspiring against me. Probably not but it would make a great movie. My point is, despite all of this I weirdly appreciate the crazy catfish for narrowing my focus to laser beam precision because I know what I want and ultimately, I know what I deserve and it is better than all of the nutty bullshit people do to each other.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 15:25:29 +0000
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