One of my students, a black female, stayed behind after class finished. She cried. Her tears flowed down her face. I let them. Shes hurting and angry about the grand jurys decision. She rarely talks in class, but when she does she offers the most profound responses, which is why I listen intently when she speaks. She stated this isnt right. This morning I woke up to a message from some lawyer who disagreed with the points made in an article I co-wrote in response to the decision. Hes white. He wanted me to know that he demanded to be heard even after I blocked him on Twitter. So, he found my Vassar email addy and wrote me (subject line read: Now Thats Ignorant). He went on to write, you know, because he feels like he can right?: Blocking someone on Twitter because they say something you dont agree with, instead of having an academic discussion regarding said issue, is the definition of ignorance my friend. I was troubled by your Guardian article for a variety of reasons; reasons you as an author and activist should be willing to discuss. I am in no way racist. What I will not tolerate is ignorance, regardless of skin color. I never called him a racist, for the record. Just blocked him. A self-identified non-racist white guy felt so entitled that he felt the need to harass me until I listen to his point. Hes wrong. Sending his email to security. I didnt want to leave my house today because I knew that I would experience anxiety. I spoke to every black person I could as I walked to my local laundromat. I felt like I just had to. And I looked for any sign of sadness in the faces of white folk as I traveled on the Amtrak to Poughkeepsie. I wanted to know if they were as sad and angry as I was. And I doubted that they were. Most smiled at me. One person told me my sweater was nice. And each time I felt more and more alone. Today, I didnt have the energy to teach. So, I arranged my class in groups and had them prepare 7-10 minute teach-ins (as if they were to present them to 8th graders) connecting all weve discussed re: race, gender, class, and carcerality this semester with #Ferguson. I was less interested in the precision of their presentations and discourse and more interested in giving them space to experience the unease that many of us educators tend to feel when we teach about black issues while black in spaces that are predominantly white. And they got it. I charged them with breaking down the walls of this classroom and carry the discussions to their dorms and homes. One can only hope. Some are headed to the courthouse to protest.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 20:02:54 +0000
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