One of the greatest myths surrounding psychopaths is this Hollywood pseudo-psychology that psychopaths are actually victims themselves. Whether it be an abusive past, an absent father, or something in between—the idea is that psychopaths cannot help their behavior. Sort of like depression, addiction, bipolar disorder, or autism. This could not be further from the truth. Unlike any other mental disorder, psychopaths are keenly aware of the impact that their behavior has on others. That’s half the fun for them—watching you suffer. They pick up on insecurities and vulnerabilities in a heartbeat, and then make the conscious choice to exploit those qualities. They know right from wrong, and simply choose to steamroll straight through it. The psychopathic relationship cycle is not some accidental byproduct of insensitivity and emotional thickness. It is a calculated, personalized process that the psychopath uses to methodically torture his victims. To watch the kind & cheerful fall from grace, for no other reason than some easy entertainment. You must imagine the time and planning that goes into mirroring someone else’s hopes and dreams. He spends months—sometimes years—playing the role of a completely different person. All for one end game: your destruction. He did not feel any glimpse of love with you, even when he claimed you were the only one who had made him feel this way. No, the entire time, he was just watching and observing you. Patiently waiting for the fun to start. Did you notice as soon as you fell in love and became comfortable in the relationship, that’s when the emotional abuse started? From there, you spent the rest of the relationship frantically trying to revitalize the soul mate he once pretended to be. The problem is, many survivors equate his insatiable drive for attention with some sort of childlike insecurity. But he is not insecure. He loves himself. He loves the way he looks, the way he can trick everyone around him, and the way you begged for him. You were not fulfilling some sort of void within his broken soul. He has no soul. He wanted to be worshipped and nothing else. He’s not a lost little boy hiding behind a tough-guy persona—and his disorder is not a defense mechanism for deep-seated fragilities. You’re never going to find a “soft spot” within him. Just endless darkness. At some point, you must stop thinking along the lines of “I’ll go No Contact because it’ll take away his narcissistic supply.” This implies that you still (or ever did) fulfill some sort of personal need within him. You don’t, and you never will. He does not seek out attention from others to inflate his ego. It’s already fully inflated, and I can assure you it’ll never deflate. He wants your attention so that he can consume you, and then destroy you. Forget about supply. He saw you as disposable trash. And given the chance, he might recycle you, but it’s never because he needs you. And what’s more, your healing process should not revolve around giving or withholding attention from someone else. You should be going No Contact because you genuinely believe that you deserve better. This is someone who manipulated, lied, abused, and deeply hurt you. As you develop self-respect, you should come to understand that this is all more than enough reason to remove someone from your life—permanently.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 09:51:05 +0000
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