One of the hardest parts of #acceptance is learning the depths to which it goes. You get a little distance from your last use, the fog begins to lift, the novelty and the fascades of peoples masks, intentions, n true selves begin to surface. The identification goes from similar war stories, to similar methods of coping, to seeing defects you cant stand in others exposing your own defects. For some key tags n tokens are collected to show others there is hope, and yet still others use the steps, the tags, the tokens n the literature to build themselves a castle in the sky far away from a mirror that may give them a cold hard dose of reality. Acceptance tells me to pray for them n by forgiving them, allowing them to be beautiful disasters i allow myself room to grow. False pride, the i been around and know it alls or the i have a little more clean time than you so i will pretend to have it altogethers so no one will see what a mess i still ams its not you who i look up to these days. Its those who sit down n let that sick, twisted, insecure, demented, perverse, disgustingly honest truth pour from their souls that i love. Sad to say this but some people need a good relapse to bring them back to the reality that you aint no better than anyone around here. Quit pretending to have it all together. You dont. We know. And we just want you to know that we know. Just be a recovering addict. Not a super human trying to make up for years of being a subhuman. Stop teaching others to pretend. You are killing them. Come with the real or dont come at all. Stop feeling entitled to what you havent worked for. Stop takin our inventory and take your own. When you can be that honest then maybe i can relate and find acceptance. But acceptance today for me is not settling for the old bait n switch. Give me a table full of newcomers full of fears, doubts n honesty anyday over a table full of i got this. If this hurts your feelings or feels personal its just your own self absortion thinking only you are a special kind of stupid. Hi my name is Tommy and Im an addict. Insecure. Sick. Twisted. Homicidal suicidal and wanna make love all in the same moment, everyday run of the mill, garden variety, addict. Why are healthy people going to the doctors lmaooo.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 03:28:29 +0000