One of the most common ways for people to try to deal with jealousy is by controlling the behavior of their partners, in order to try to skirt around the things that trigger the jealousy. But a trigger is not a cause; if the root cause of the jealousy has not been resolved, then the jealousy still exists, it’s merely dormant. Getting rid of the jealousy means letting go of the idea that the way to prevent it is to control your partner’s behavior so that you do not see whatever triggers it. This requires a lot of courage. It requires deliberately exposing yourself to the very thing that makes you feel jealous; and when you’re up to your ass in alligators, as the saying goes, it can be mighty difficult to remember that your objective was to drain the swamp! Jealousy feels awful, and it makes you want to do anything you can to make the feeling stop, right now. Getting through it once and for all means challenging it, and that means not taking the easy way out.
Posted on: Fri, 14 Jun 2013 02:11:47 +0000
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