One of the most difficult things I’ve ever done is to talk about the abuser in my life and what he did to me. At first I was just worried about how stupid and naive I would look. And yes, many people, even family, called me an idiot or said I somehow brought the abuse and traumas on myself or that I was a Drama Queen. I got past being judged. How? By realizing that if I really cared about the other families involved or truly ever cared about the abuser himself that telling may be my only shot at stopping his behavior and allowing him to correct himself. I needed to allow him to own his behavior and restore a positive relationship between myself and him. It was a form of apology on my part too. Even if he refuse – I will continue to try. Believe me, the price I have paid & still do pay is high. There are still a few who have used, exploited and abused me out there that tell watered down or twisted versions of reality to make his abuse seem morally equivalent to anything I may have done out of compassion. Or there’s the smear campaigns: they’ve tried to call me crazy, a liar, a scorned woman, jealous in some way or a nut-job. I’m in good company because that’s exactly what millions of victims who speak out or try to help are called too. Not terribly original. Included in this are accusations of stalking that I didn’t do; I don’t have anything to do with; money I never took; my physical disability that ‘doesn’t exist; take one tiny truth and blowing it into something horrible; harassing that I couldn’t physically do and wouldn’t anyway or the classic abuser ploy of playing the victim and trying to paint me as the abuser. Most of the time its all designed to make sure the abuser’s buddies don’t get to know me so they won’t find out I am none of those things and incapable of all of it. People who do know me and hear these things about me, know its a complete false accusations. The same is true for any victim. I’m not telling to hurt the abuser but to heal myself & others.
Posted on: Tue, 28 Oct 2014 12:55:16 +0000