One of the most difficult things to do in a world that promises more than it can ever possibly deliver, is to become satisfied with what we have. Have you found yourself wanting more and more and never really seeing an end to your insatiable desire to achieve and obtain what is just out of reach? I have recently returned from a missions trip from El Salvador with my church. I was told that it would be a life changing experience, but I am finding that has not been the case for me. So I begin to ask God to show me why? Here is what I feel He is showing me. Where the world use to pull me to want more, need more, have to have more, it has lost the ability to allure me with its unfulfilled promises and empty and broken dreams for a life that was never meant to be. Instead, I am miserable in my seeking HIM; and find myself letting go of more in my finding HIM. He tells me that the more I seek the more I will find HIM. However, it would seem that unless I have the ability to move mountains and dig to the depths of earth that no man has found a place where God resides more vastly than the human heart itself. AND, it is there that everything you think you want is challenged with and by HIS Word and the truth it produces deep within my soul. Yet, I continue to search outside myself for HIM. This may be a simple thing for some of my friends who have obtained this level of Gods presence that satisfies, but for me it has not come easy. I have had to lay down everything I have ever wanted for what He wants for me. Let go of every dream I have stored inside my head for a plan and purpose He has for me that I still do not fully understand. I have surrendered my pride, my life, my children, my grandchildren, my home, my finances, my will and my way. However, the hardest to lay bare and surrender fully has been my heart. Nonetheless, I can finally say HE HAS ALL OF ME! You may ask what does the mission trip have to do with this story? Thats just it...NOTHING!!! There is no place, no event, no single moment that will change you, or make a bigger impact in your life, more than the miraculous transformation that come from a single moment of a heart that has made a decision to surrender to HIM. Everything else will leave you empty, disappointed, and wanting more. The search is over for me Lord! You are the only place I want to be and the only place I will find you is within the borders of my own heart. I am thankful for the trip to El Salvador for so many reasons and hope to return,but the most precious gift from my trip was finding the beauty in letting go. Letting go of everything I want for HIS ALL for me. It has been the scariest and the most beautiful transformation all at once. Though it is certainly not over and will not be until I see Him face to face. My misery in seeking has been replaced with overwhelming emotion and joy; and the unsatisfied journey of finding what could not quench, is a heart filled and overflowing with His love and constant presence. So maybe the mission trip didnt change me radically because that process begin the moment I said yes to HIM... Thanks for listening friends, el
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 13:10:35 +0000