One of the professors I had before would sometimes scold us, which I mean here her students, to give constructive criticism and to lead us to improvement. At the end of this consultation, she would burst tears still saying some more things with red teary eyes. We startle in our mind and dont know what to do, but just keep our facial expression controlled nodding passionately. We could understand why she became agitated and couldnt help but crying: she was in a lot of pain by the fact that she, may have felt, that her words pierced to our heart and so had to feel guilty which she didnt need to. Every semester is different and I usually say Im fortunate to have become a teacher because I meet all different people on this planet every semester and I am so thankful they become gems in my life. I lately realized Im also mentally aged and reminded of the professor who shed tears after the consultation. I dont cry while talking to my students, but when I expressionlessly interrogate students for their irresponsibility, after that a few moments, it really feels terrible and wounded. Its because, like my professor may have been, I first think that perhaps I didnt really need to meddle in their life because, anyways, its their own life. But after a few more minutes, I realize again why I really had to meddle although doubtlessly I know how students would feel hurt with my poker-faced advice. I had a talk with one student of mine quite lengthily and couldnt stop talking about responsibility that she missed this semester. I expected tears in her eyes and also expected to hear the problems I usually hear from some people here. I couldve given up because in the end its her own life. But, why, why didnt I do so?: because I dont want to let go of what I could be the help, at least, they could realize for a little moment that they are not doing something well and should get it done well. Compared to my earlier teaching years, its quite different because back then, I tried to play a bountiful generous mabait teacher role. I still do my best to do so, but as Im also grown, I cant just let go of those lovely young souls to get lost in their life, or delude oneself as if theyre doing well. The semester is not yet over. My own responsibilities are still ongoing and give me stiff neck, too. I simply wish everyone, especially my students with wounded souls, will be able to wrap up this semester and this year with satisfaction and reflection, so that we all will improve more and better next semester and next year. Let yourself guide your own life wisely, and let us teachers be beside you whenever you need wisdom of life as well as a shoulder to lean on.
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 13:14:44 +0000
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