One thing I have learned is that you cannot selectively numb emotion. You cant say, heres the bad stuff. Heres vulnerability, heres grief, heres shame, heres fear, heres disappointment. I dont want to feel these. You cant numb those hard feelings without numbing the other affects, our emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness. And then we are miserable, and we are looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable all over again. And it becomes this dangerous cycle. Thank you to the friends that have been there for me as of late while I figure shit out. Thanks Jane, David, Ean, Jonathan, and the few other people that I both trust and respect. I love you all very much.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 02:48:20 +0000
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