Onion declared as national vegetable Unable to control the prices of onions, unable to meet the demand for onions and unable to offer any explanation for the same, the Union Cabinet, in a game changing state of mind passed a resolution that “ONION” be declared as our ‘National Vegetable’. In line with our other National symbols of pride such as Peacock, Tiger, Lotus etc, the ‘National Vegetable’ status will confer certain privileges and protection to the ONION. The Union Cabinet also decided to amend the “Prevention of Insults to National Honor Act 1971” to include the ONION in the list. Since it is a ‘National Vegetable’, citizens can no longer show disrespect to the ONION in any manner; nor can they maim it or endanger it by cutting or disrobing it, eating it raw or cook it. All such acts will be a ‘Cognisable’ offence attracting heavy penalty and punishment that will include spending two years rigorously in a farm, growing ONIONS and tending to them. This will ensure that there is no demand for ONIONS. Price and shortage of ONIONS will not become an election issue. If any one dares to talk about ONION they will be booked for defamation. In view of ‘ZERO’ demand in our country, the ‘National Vegetable’, can be exported and earn valuable Foreign Exchange that will help to reduce the trade deficit and increase the handsomeness of Raghuram. To outclass Mayawati who holds the world record for installing the maximum number of Elephant statues and Modi who plans to install the tallest statue of the Iron Man, RaGa the National symbol of the Congress party’ declared that he will build the largest, biggest, tallest and broadest ONION statue. He told the nation that he also shares the dreams of millions of Indians who can only dream of ONIONS as side dish for their daily Roti. He requested farmers to donate a small piece of their land to put up the statue. Farmers mostly in Haryana and Rajasthan who have already ‘donated’ all their lands to Vadra were shocked by this and decided to commit suicide since they were unable to fulfill the dream of RaGa. Congressmen in Tamil Nadu declared that they will build a temple for ONION and Karunanidhi will offer opening prayers. The Communist party protested that instead of ONION which has the same colour as Lotus, Red Chilli should be declared as National Vegetable. Mamta immediately objected saying that Green Chilli only should be declared as National Vegetable.
Posted on: Thu, 19 Sep 2013 12:37:53 +0000
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