Online it is easy to put forward the illusion of strength and stability but in reality, at times, it is not true at all. I like to pride myself in my ability to be transparent in everything that I am feeling but since Ive been back on FB, it has been extremely difficult for me to do so. The recent events of my life have damaged my once indomitable spirit and although I may seem to be back on track again, it is not so. I cant prevent the feeling of helplessness and Im thinking that I may never be back on track again. I know that energy is like an ocean that ebbs and flows in a continuous cycle but the more my consciousness has expanded, the more extreme the ups and downs have become. Right now, it feels like Im in the deepest low of my life and although I know that I will never give up, it is very difficult for me to stay afloat. I dont want to make anyone feel bad about my situation but FB is the only place that I can truely express myself. And as the tears fall on my keyboard, I feel like there is nothing that I can do to save myself from these hard feelings. I know that by this time tomorrow, I would have fully recovered from these feelings of alienation and loneliness but for now, I just cant help but feel sorry for myself. It feels like it is just one of those times when a hug is all I need but I know that I will have to just deal with this situation by myself. Its nothing new to me. Ive been through this many times before on my own and have survived and I will survive again no matter how much it hurts right now.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 07:19:17 +0000
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