Open Letter to Spelling and Grammar Nazis Dear Spelling and Grammar Nazis, It with the assistance of Microsoft Word that I type this letter, I sincerely hope that it meets with your extremely high language standards. I have to ask why you don’t want other kids to shine. You know, this language came here on a boat. Even in its land of origin its native speakers struggle worse with it than us former colonial subjects. I have to go back, back all the way to my school years. You were that kid right? You were that kid who took the first desk right in front of the teacher’s desk. You were that kid that did your homework diligently, that took endless notes. You were the kid that began studying 6 weeks before an exam. You were the kid that when it came to Q&A time you miraculously levitated 10 inches from your chair whilst (see what I did there?) your arm simultaneously shot up into the air. The glee on your face as you tried to capture the teacher’s attention, because, you know, you had the standard textbook answer. You were that kid who wore your school uniform just so, hems taken in at the right length, tie, blazer, shirts neatly tucked in. You were that kid that the teacher empowered with a piece of chalk, when he stepped out of class, to impimpi your fellow classmates for having a bit of a laugh. Now while you were being the perfect pretentious textbook case I went out living life. For me the syllabus was such a bore. While you were playing teacher’s pet, I used to bunk class to read Tolstoy, up in the roof of the school assembly hall’s roof. I was that kid in the back of the class with the untidy shirt (and hair) and the colourful socks. I was the one that made a bit of fun. I was the one whose name went first up on the blackboard when your master stepped out of the classroom. While you were trying to ram an A+ result into your head for weeks on end I had fun. For me exams were a breeze. I did my prep a day or two before an exam and, shock horror, I got A-grades. I never did homework, well except for English, because we all know sekgowa se thata. All that hard work you put in to get good grades shem. We both passed matric. I got my university exemption. Passed every subject on higher grade nogal. I’m sure you passed too, but all that work, shem, at least I lived some of the funnest years of my life and developed a personality. You on the other hand, you’re still anal. In conclusion, when you see a quip /tweet with any (a) grammar, (b) spelling and (c) syntax mistakes, just allow other kids to shine. Don’t take the fun out of life. It’s a quip /tweet goddamnit, not a 140 character thesis on the meaning of life. Get over yourselves and learn to live a little. I thank you, LOL (Dee) Uks Finest Bengaliz
Posted on: Fri, 07 Jun 2013 16:25:27 +0000
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015