Other side of the shell. It was easier to give advice but harder to take my own advice. As a woman Ive come across numerous encounters with other people seeking a relationship with me. Being in a relationship with my ex as we continued to be on and off for 5 years I couldnt see myself with anyone else even though I have tried. Ive stuck by him from thick til thin. Even though he was down and out I slept out in the streets with him even though I had my own home because I wouldnt leave him. I had to be strong not only for me but for us. He was not the greatest looking guy. Did not have any money or a job but I loved him. I wanted him to succeed and it went from pushing him to do it to nagging him too. Year after year of lies, getting cheated on and the emotional abuse I became a mess. Being humiliated in front of friends and family I felt not only like an idiot but a laughing stock from Tacoma. The worst pain ever. Life itself became a terrible mess for me. I couldnt think straight I started losing myself and my mind after so many years i finally started to lose my strength. Thoughts of suicide clouded my mind. Why does he do this to me? I was the best woman I could be. My attitude changes. I cant control my temper every incident becomes a tornado. Im like a ticking time bomb. Love changes into anger and anger into hate. Im tired. So many years. What did I do wrong? Why doesnt he just go if I make him so unhappy? Why am I not number 1 in his life? Why do I continue to fight just to have a place in his life when to me hes my world? Many willing to take his place but I try and trying having hope he will change having hope he will grow from a boy into a man but the change never comes. But he was selfish to keep me just to hurt me. He question my anger over things why I get so upset. Because you did this to me. I cant trust anymore I cant handle things even though it was small things because of the combination of everything u put me through. Left with a broken heart I seek happiness and self awareness. If he couldnt Change and stop hurting me but still wants to keep me hes selfish. Apologies started losing their meaning after so much. Im sorry I cant keep giving chances Ive exhausted my all. Since I couldnt be his everything Ill be his nothing at all. I deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves happiness. Despite everything I hope he finds his own happiness in life. No matter what we went through we all need to be happy and move forward. I finally did it. I got my groove back and Im high on life and loving it. Thanks for inspiring me Dom! Much credit to his piece he wrote. Well hope you guys enjoyed your Fridays newspaper. Lol. Enjoy your weekend! Hope this inspires someone to be strong.
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 18:28:23 +0000
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