Outside of a few quick posts here and there, I have been kind of quiet on the Facebook front for about the last month. The main reason for this is that a month ago, my Grandma Gordon passed away pretty suddenly and it messed me up pretty bad. I still havent wrapped my head around how I could be holding her hand and having a normal conversation on a Wednesday, and she was in Hospice two days later. Those who are closest to me know how close I was to my grandma, and probably already had this figured out. I kind of just shut down, as I have in the past when someone close to me had passed on from this Earth. This has been different though. Typically when someone passes, I shut down for a day or two, have a complete meltdown that borders on a nervous breakdown, and then I begin the healing process. This still has not yet happened this time. Ive been wanting to write something about my grandma since a few days after she left us, but I wanted to wait until the right words came to me, as I feel that she deserves more than just a few fleeting thoughts in a FB status. This still has not happened yet either. I have almost felt cheated, to the point where I have stopped saying my bedtime prayers at night, because I dont want to include her in the group of relatives that I pray for the Lord to watch over and take care of who have passed away, even though I know I should instead be grateful that I had my grandma around for 35 years. Then it came to me when I was getting out of the shower and drying between each and every one of my toes, which Grandma taught me at a very young age, and ever since then, even to this day, I can hear her voice saying make sure that you dry between all of your little piggies so that your foot doesnt get sore.....and you know, to this day, I have never had athletes foot (save your thats because youre not very athletic jokes, Mike Gordon Jr.). I realized as I was drying between my toes that there is no combination of words that can quantify what Grandma Gordon has meant to me and our family. Grandma was the only person on the planet that I could turn to with any problem, and I knew everything would be okay, just because she said so. Ive been told that I have that effect on people, and I now realize where I got that from. Grandma had a way of telling it like it is, to whomever it may be, whether they wanted to hear it or not. I try to convey my messages a little more diplomatically than she did, but I now realize where I got that from. If whomever the above message was directed to didnt like what she had to say, she would tell that person to KISS MY ASS!... I have a different saying that I use in these instances, but nonetheless, the directive is the same. I also realize where I got that from. What I think I will miss even more than having her telling me that everything will be okay, is her laughing. Anyone who has heard this knows exactly what I am talking about, and can picture her smiling, sitting back, slapping her hands on her knees, then leaning forward and giggling heeee heeee!. Absolutely priceless! I will also miss giving Grandma a kiss and hug over the phone, which I did before ending every conversation with her since I was a toddler. Even in high school, my friends would make fun of me for making the smooch and grunt noise if they were around when I would hang up with her (the grunt was the only way I could articulate a hug on the phone when I was three...and it kinda stuck). I know I am trying to do the impossible by writing words that I have already admitted will not come close to doing any sort of justice to what her life has meant to not only the Gordon family, but the world in general. As the matriarch of our family, she is responsible for populating this world with a whole bunch of smart, compassionate, talented, charitable, funny, loving, caring children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren... and Mikey. I promise this post does not convey a fraction of who Grandma was or the impact that she has had on our little Gordon clan, but I felt that it was time that I break my silence and admit that I dont have the words. With that said, here is a link to Grandmas tribute in the memorial section of the Vindicator from last month, written by my cousin Kelley, as it does a much better job of outlining and celebrating Grandmas life on this, her 86th birthday: vindy/news/tributes/2014/sep/13/alice-evelyn-gordo/
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 00:05:45 +0000
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