Over the past week, I’ve thought a lot about loss. Specifically, the loss of someone you love. I understand these thoughts are a natural part of the grieving process I have to go through. As I thought about it in the context of a friend who misunderstood a Facebook post and sent a sympathy card a bit prematurely, I realized that even though we might say “I lost my dad on Thursday”, it really doesn’t happen all at once. When mom and dad told me they weren’t able to move and load the canoe on their own anymore we worked out a donation to my scout troop. Almost four years ago, dad had surgery to remove a big chunk of his lungs due to cancer. We didn’t immediately understand it but that day I lost a dad who could breathe without an oxygen tank, and we discovered much later that meant I lost a dad who could fly on planes to enjoy the cruises he and mom so loved. Three years ago, Dad stood in the driveway and wiped a tear from his eye as he told me it was killing him to watch me cut his grass. Two Sundays ago, I lost a dad who could stand up out of a chair on his own. When he grabbed my wrists and said “pull”, our hug took on a new perspective. Last week Thursday I lost a dad who was alive, at least as we perceive life. One thing I didn’t lose on any of those days was a dad who managed to maintain a positive perspective no matter what happened. There are many other things which I didn’t lose. In October 2010, I wrote a blog post that explains a few of them and I’d like to share parts of it with you now. The morning show hosts of the radio station I listen to most had a daily segment with Max Lucado. They were discussing his book, “Outlive Your Life: You Were Made to Make a Difference”. This is not a review of the book, there are plenty of those on Amazon. This is, rather, a reflection on a few gifts I have received – gifts which will long outlive the giver. I’ve visited the Elroy-Sparta bike trail, with its beautiful scenery, cool damp tunnels, and friendly faces, many times, with family, friends and scouts. Likewise I have enjoyed the Sugar River trail, the Glacial Drumlin trail and others. Why? Because dad introduced the family to these trails many years ago as a relatively inexpensive way to see cool places while getting a little exercise and enjoying nature! Dad so enjoyed riding that he campaigned to raise awareness and political support for construction of the Oak Leaf Trail along the Root River Parkway – close to home. Recently, my wonderful wife Teresa referenced a copy of the Wisconsin Natural Resources Magazine, pointing out some fabulous photos of “The Ledge” and how we should put it on our bucket list. I knew in an instant the reference must be about the Niagara Escarpment. As I read the article, I smiled as I recalled those portions of the ledge I’ve already visited – Cave Point and Eagle Cave in Door County; Ledge Park in Dodge County; Lime Kiln Park in Cedarburg and countless rock outcroppings in the Kettle Moraine overlooking scenic vistas along twisty roads and hilly trails. How did I know of these things? Of course, dad introduced and reintroduced me to places like them years ago and I have done the same for my children and my friends. When my brother took his sons and other scouts from their troop hiking at Devils Lake, they probably crossed the Wisconsin River via the free ferry at Merrimac. They might have hiked into nearby Parfrey’s Glen and they probably started conditioning with a hike along the Root River, a trail I have hiked dozens of times. How do I know of these things? Because I went there first with Dad. Some of my earliest memories include “helping” to assemble the pews here in St. John’s as the church was being built. My job? Deliver boxes of nails and screws and cold beer from the cooler to all the dads who were working hard in service to their faith community. Dad continued to serve St. John’s as a lector, an usher and as festival games chairman, and for many years as “the voice of the festival” working with mom in the information booth. While we all know Mom’s the singer, music was a big part of Dad’s life as well and the “free entertainment” of watching the St. Matthias drum and bugle corps as a kid has led to my seeking out a DCI competition every chance I get. I remember driving down random roads and finding wonders like Kitchi-t-kippi springs and always having a camera to capture some of the memories, then watching the movies and looking at the pictures years later and enjoying it all over again. Camping. Hiking. Biking. Canoeing. Scouts. Ping-pong. Church. Family. Friends. Service. These are just a few of the many things my Dad did to outlive his life and help enrich the lives of others for generations to come. Thanks Dad, for making a difference! I hope and pray that I will be able to outlive my life as you outlived yours!
Posted on: Fri, 01 Aug 2014 03:33:30 +0000
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