Over the years my focus and efforts were spent trying to be some hero, trying to bring down an external force which I perceived as the cause of ALL of my personal ills (which has some truth to it). While doing good and seeking justice brought me some pleasure, it was never truly fulfilling or solved the faults that were actually at the root of my own agony. My self worth became so wrapped up in attacking an enemy that I repressed a lot and never bothered to take care of myself first. This year rather than constantly dwelling on exacting vengeance and a crusade against a personal foe, Ive been fighting my internal problems first. My own hypocritical self-deceit, misplaced anger, insecurities, paranoia and lack of personal accountability were a greater enemy than any delusional bible wielding nut on a street corner. I will never stop fighting against the people who hurt me and so many others, but from now on Im going to spend more time focusing on self discovery and destroying my own problems first.
Posted on: Mon, 21 Apr 2014 18:08:45 +0000
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