Over this past year Ive been dealing with undoubtedly my biggest identity crisis. I cant seem to attach myself to any one action or choice and be truly happy with it. Im beginning to think I actually do need the help Ive been refusing for so long. Ive come to understand my biggest obstacle is myself, but what if I dont fully know myself anymore? Ive become complacent, barricading myself from the outside world other than my jobs. But the days always end, me coming home to the same monotonous routines. Wheres my strive for adventure? Wheres my motive to be something bigger than myself? It seems it has long faded, and for the life of me I cant remember why or what happened to my prior self. My health, both mentally and physically have dwindled further than it ever has. Ive developed an extreme block to my music writing, which was my one outlet. It scares me how little I care about pushing myself. Five years ago, I would have never thought this would be the person I am in my early 20s. I always figured Id have things mapped out, but the more the days progress, the less familiar I become with what it was that fueled that desire to push. I have a lot of demons I need to deal with. I need a path to rediscovery.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Dec 2014 06:21:17 +0000
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