Oz has his moments and until recently never had a full blown tantrum when out alone with me. We went to buy coloring pens and a new drawing pad at his favorite toy shop a few weeks back. He began to melt down when I refused to buy a train that he wanted. At the cash register it escalated and we left without buying anything. Outside the shop he dropped to the ground in front of me and began to scream. I stepped around him and began down the sidewalk. He shot up and ran to get in front of me again and dropped to the ground but this time with his arms around my ankles. I was able to go around him again but this time he got in front of me and was head butting my legs with his arms around my ankles. I had to grow roots to keep from being knocked over by this furious little boy. Looking to my right I could see that we were in front of the picture windows of a coffee house we frequent. Of course the customers couldnt help notice our drama as it unfolded. I decided not to make eye contact. What I did do was to keep a constant calm conversation with him, about his being angry and disappointed, about how he mustnt cause me to fall down, and how I needed him to hear me. This went on forever - actually about 10 minutes - I gradually got around him to a corner window where I could brace myself against the wall. He was becoming exhausted and needed some way to feel safe again so I got him to focus on a bench just over the way and we went, with his agreement, to sit and cuddle. After a time he was calmed down enough, and my heart beat was back to normal so we went into the coffee house and had tea. Been trying to remember if his mother - my daughter - had melt downs like this. She must have done but that was 30+ years ago and my memory is getting sloppy. Time feels different now, I try to breathe more and take time to be in his moment and not hurry him beyond what he can cope with.
Posted on: Sun, 02 Nov 2014 21:41:06 +0000