PADREGQ#295 – A few weeks ago, we were all shocked by the suicide of Robin Williams. I have written about suicide before. It is not a moral issue but a mental health issue. Deep depression is sometimes a terminal illness. People die from accidents, heart problems, cancer and other medical issues. For some, there is a deep psych-ache that becomes an unbearable psychic pain that blocks out everything else. Even love cannot penetrate the darkness. As someone recently said ‘one does not abandon, even briefly, one’s bed of nails, but they are attached to it wherever they go.’ I spoke briefly a few weeks ago during Mass about this terrible tragedy. (When tragedies happen, God’s heart is the first of our heart to break – but these people, who are so sick, are not tragedies, but gifts to their family to be loved as long as we can, to be loved forever). In response to my thoughts about suicide, Lin Bresnahan, wrote me the following post. Lin is parishioner and also a grief counselor who conducts a grief workshop for us every year. (This year’s sessions will be on Wednesdays, Sept 17th and 24th, October 1st and 8th -7:00 - 8:30) She gave me permission this morning to share this with everyone…………………… I was so lifted to see you today! Thank you for always being just, well RIGHT THERE. Now you have my mind flying about suicide and it won’t stop so, though my thoughts are entirely random, there was nothing more to do but share them with you just in case they enhance your own in any way….Though I never wanted to end my life, I clearly remember the pull inside me just after Eric died (13 years ago) of wanting to simply be where he was. It was powerful and curious. But the most amazing thing was to have my son die, knowing that is the ‘worst thing;’ a parent can endure, but through the utter blazing pain, I clearly knew that his death did not take away all of the beauty in this world. THAT is the moment I began my faith journey to the Catholicism….Here is what I wonder, and why I told you that story. Depression, in its most extreme and enduring form, when it envelopes a person’s body, mind and spirit, and closes its vice upon them until they cannot see beyond its enclosure. And in its final act of thievery, stealing any value of the foreseen present and future. I wonder if God’s love makes itself known to them then, because I do NOT believe suicide is an act of weakness, but rather that it takes great courage to leave. So I have wondered if some kind of hope, a glimpse perhaps, comes through like a pinpoint of light in the darkness and maybe they KNOW God is there. God IS a loving God. What better time to make love known that in that incredible darkness. Maybe this is beauty they see, to comfort them on this journey…They are truly not ending their life, the way popular culture shows. They are stopping their unending permanent pain in the only way they know. It seems so simple, but so complex too. Because I also wonder, when this moment comes forth to them, are they really already gone? Are they already with God? Is that what gives them courage? I am rambling, ok, I will stop now! Thank you for being a holy and spiritual compass pointing us to God….In another post, Lin wrote …..Aug 17- I will say this - In the 18 years since you have died, Erik, two things remain. One, I hold great joy and appreciation for the privilege of being your mother. Two, grief’s shadow over my heart is a daily reminder to me that you reside within it. While time does not provide relief, it does bring deep hope because the beauty of your life catches my breath with wonder…Thanks, Lin.. Shalom to all.
Posted on: Thu, 21 Aug 2014 03:28:31 +0000