PARKING LOT RULES Parking lots have rules. Ill bet you didnt know that! Neither did we until we came across these Parking Lot Rules: Rule #1 - When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the middle of the road, dont signal, and orient your car diagonally to prevent others from passing. Rule #2 - Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred. Rule #3 - In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one, drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both. Rule #4 - As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling to take it, pull though and take it from him. Rule #5 - Always park close enough to the adjacent car so that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to squeeze into his or her car. Rule #6 - When driving through the parking lot, ignore the painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another at a high rate of speed. Rule #7 - When stopped in front of a store and waiting for a friend or relative to make a purchase, make sure that you are stopped in the middle of the road. The same rules applies to picking-up and discharging passengers. Rule #8 - When a vehicle from the opposite direction is signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you take it. Rule #9 - If you have Handicap license plates and there are empty spaces up front, use up a regular parking spot. Rule #10 - If you hit the adjacent car with your door and leave a dent, wait for a car, which is painted the same color as yours, to drive down the aisle looking for a place to park. Then back out, giving up your spot like the good guy you are, and park somewhere else. Rule #11 - When exiting a shopping center into a busy road, exit through the narrow ENTER ONLY driveway, stick the nose of the car into traffic, and wait. Rule #12 - Always leave your shopping cart tightly between parked vehicles. Rule #13 - Gather up all the coffee cups, fast food wrappers and other bits of trash from your car and leave them in the shopping center parking lot before you leave. Think of it as you helping out in these economic hard times by making sure the parking lot sweeper keeps his job. Rule #14 - If you are forced to change an infants diaper in a parking lot, leave the soiled diaper under the wheel of the car next to you. Rule #15 - When another vehicle is waiting for you to pull out of a spot in a crowded parking lot, take your time. Adjust the mirrors, your seat, and the radio. Roll down your window, breathe in the air and eat your lunch. Feel free to go through your shopping bags and look at what you just bought. Rule #16 - When walking back to your car in a busy shopping center, gesture to other drivers waiting for a spot to make them think that you are getting in the car and leaving. Then walk between the cars to the next aisle and do it again. Rule #17 - When shopping at the mall, which requires you to load your bags into the car and go back in to do more shopping, do NOT tell the driver who is sitting patiently watching you load your car and signaling for your spot. Rule #18 - When walking back to your car, if you notice other shoppers walking past your car to get to theirs, press the buttons on your key chain remote so that your cars alarm makes a sudden loud BLOOP BLEEP that scares the life out of them. Rule #19 - If you dont see a speed limit sign posted in the malls parking lot, there isnt any! Rule #20 - If you back into a parked car, and the driver isnt with it, take out a piece of paper & start writing. This is especially effective if there are 15-20 witnesses. On a piece of paper write, There were ___ witnesses when I hit your car. They think Im writing my name address, phone #, insurance information, etc., on this paper. But Im not! // Subway Station Hurrying to catch the last train for home, my son and I raced down the escalator in the subway station, and Ben darted into the waiting train. Just as I reached it, the door slammed shut. Reacting instinctively, I ran along the platform abreast of the moving train, yelling, Stop! Stop! My baby is in there all alone! To my amazement the train stopped, reversed, and the doors opened. I entered the car...to the furious glare of my 16-year-old son and the amused smiles of the other passengers. // A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, How many of you love your husband? All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, When was the last time you told your husband you loved him? Some women answered today, some yesterday, some couldnt remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: I love you, sweetheart. The women were then told to exchange phones and to read aloud the text message responses. Here are some of the replies: 1. Who is this? 2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick? 3. I love you too. 4. What now? Did you crash the car again? 5. I dont understand what you mean? 6. What did you do now? 7. ?!? 8. Dont beat around the bush, just tell me how much you need? 9. Am I dreaming? 10. If you dont tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die. 11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day. 12. Your mother is coming to stay, isnt she?? //
Posted on: Fri, 25 Oct 2013 13:48:29 +0000
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