PART 6 My joints are aching and I’m finding it more and more difficult to walk. One day soon I may not be able to walk. I dread that day. It’ll mean that the last shred of my independence will be taken away from me. As I get into the bath, I anticipate the cold water I’m going to have. I haven’t had hot water since I came to this place. There’s always someone in the bath queue before me. I get into the tub and mis judge my step. Before I know what’s happening I find myself falling down. I’ve hit the side of my face just above my eye on the tub and I’m in excruciating pain. I yell for help and hear Grace’s calming voice on the other side of the door. ‘Don’t worry Mrs Kasim, I’ll be with you now, I’m just going to fetch the spare keys’. I lie there in pain until Grace unlocks the door and comes inside. I feel so humiliated, the indignity of it all. Grace is very professional about it, she helps me up and out of the tub, she then helps me to dress and get out of the bathroom. Helena comes to inspect my injuries and then states that she’s taking me to a doctor. Helena and Grace help me into Helena’s car and then take me to the doctor. He’s a young man, I wonder how old he is. Seems a bit young to be a doctor, but who am I to judge such things? Maybe the medical professionals of today are just younger than those of the old days. He stitches and bandages the cut above my eye and then places my leg in a cast. I’ve broken my leg. A feeling of dread settles over me, I’m slowly losing my independence. When we get back home Grace and a nurse help me onto my bed and pull the blankets around me. Grace gives me a painkiller and tells me to rest. When I wake up around supper time I’m starving. Unfortunately supper is beef stew so I can’t eat it. I explain to Grace about the halaal issue and she offers to steam a few vegetables for me. I’m eternally grateful to her. Grace brings a plate of steamed vegetables to me and I graciously eat it. I realize that I’m now eating in my room like my fellow room mates. I’m deteriorating faster than I thought I would. I watch as the nurses feed my room mates as they lie down and I dread the day that happens to me. I can’t sleep at night because I’m in too much of pain. I feel too bad to wake Grace or Helena and the nurses have already left. I spend a sleepless night in pain and the next day I’m exhausted. All I want to do is sleep. I’m served breakfast in bed. I’m getting used to English tea. Its not so bad once you accustom yourself to it. The concept of ‘breakfast in bed’ is always thought of as appealing but I find it less than appealing. I’d prefer eating in the dining room. Once I’m done a nurse comes to me ‘I’m going to help you bath this morning’ she says to me. I really have no choice but to go along with her. To me its humiliating and degrading. While she helps me to bath I try to distance myself from my current predicament. I think back to something that’ll conjure up good memories. I remember my wedding day. The wedding was held at my house. My husband and I sat awkwardly side by side on the sofa in the lounge. People gathered around us and general merriment was taking place. I can’t remember myself smiling, nor did my husband and I exchange many words. We just sat there, like dummies on display.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 17:42:59 +0000