PART THREE. I moved to KL on August 16th and to be honest I instantly felt comfortable, I was still nervous and anxious but happy to have a new start. After a few tricky hurdles and some minor depression I found myself sending a really cheeky email to an NGO (non profit) group called PT Foundation. I told them volunteers like me dont come along often and soon after found myself in the longest and most wonderfully innapropriate interview, I joined the team in late September. I put the stress of things in the back of my mind, but as I found myself becoming increasingly unwell (sore throat, flu like symptoms) and of course this played heavily on my mind... Joining the PT Foundation team helped, I got to see the way things worked and also felt comfortable with the people I work with, I put things off until October 31st when I decided I had to test, I had to face what had happened and I had to face my decisions. A double edged sword really, knowing and trusting the lady who conducted my tests but also stressed that my collegue, my friend would know what happened and the regretful choices I made.... She was great, my boss registered me anonymously and explained the confidentiality. I went into the room, experienced the pre-counselling first hand and had the little finger prick, my finger wasnt so eager to give out but the tester did well and it was painless. Sitting there wondering how to tell my children, my best friend or the sweet guy I had just met.... How the hell am I going to feel testing HIV + after so long in this industry teaching others how to stay safe? I was shaking, the 20 minute delay seemed an eternity, everything felt slow and flashed in front of my eyes. When I was called back in I watched the testers face (I know she already knew the results) but I could not read her. She asked me if I was ready and after I confirmed she lowered the test kits, I saw the line and I knew I was positive..... but calm. She explained I was negative (clear) of Syphilis and I pointed at the line on the HIV test and said ok so that means I am positive. I am crying just typing this right now. She looked at me and calmly explained that this was the control line and in fact I tested negative. As the window period had passed this test was conlusive. I broke down in front of her and just put my head in my hands, a minute of sobbing or so I thanked her and gave her a hug. I TESTED HIV NEGATIVE AND SYPHILIS NEGATIVE ON October 31st 2014. I was convinced I was getting bad news and I have never been so happy to be wrong.... I rang Cin, I messaged my sweet guy and I looked back at how lucky I really was.... I want to thank PT Foundation, my boss and the lady who tested me. So many months of stress and worry vanished in 30 minutes.... My results and experience has strengthened my work and fight against the HIV virus.... Just for the record, if I had tested positive I would have still told my story in the hope to empower others.....
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 08:32:09 +0000