PERFECT... ALMOST. Friends... please read this through. This - TopicsExpress

PERFECT... ALMOST. Friends... please read this through. This move to MO has resulted in perfection. I love the land; have great friends; shoot whenever I want; do my prep plans for others; live in a great small town; have a great place to live; and enjoy every day. Tranquility and peace mark my days... and a new church is restoring my faith. Thanks to the foresight of my dear wife, I purchased and paid for private disability insurance and, coupled with Social Security, I am quite comfortable. Its perfect... almost. I married my true soulmate and when she passed, at 48 years old (I robbed the cradle, being 13 years older.), I was crushed... defeated. Finding out I had terminal, inoperable cancer, only 4 months after my love died from cancer, was very nearly the last straw. I was broken. Still, in true Marine fashion, I carried on. I gave away 28 guns. I gave away all my household possessions. I gave away my home. I gave away over $250,000 in life insurance money, left by my wife. I paid all my funeral expenses. I was prepared and unafraid of death. After my radiation and chemo, the Docs gave me twelve months. That was nearly three years ago. Do I regret my largesse? Not for an instant. Had I held onto it, I would not have moved here... I would simply have had all my stuff. When my time comes, I will not fight. I will not cry out how unfair it is. I have children, grandchildren and found my soulmate. My first wife was a charm and we simply grew apart. I have lived in 13 states and the number of countries I have not visited is a very short list, indeed. I have had three careers and loved them all. Regrets? Some... life is not perfect. Life without Kathy has not been easy and hasnt gotten easier. It never will. That said... my new friends and new church have given me new reasons to carry on. All that keeps it from being perfect is the realization, over the last three and one half years, that I will never have or experience love again... a very hard pill. Good night, all.

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