PJ’s Point 2014 R.19 Sydney v Essendon Be afwaid… Be vewy vewy afwaid… Sydney gave notice to the rest of the comp that while Lance Franklin is a formidable and valuable team member, they have many avenues to goal – eight, in this instance. Bondi Buddy had appeared - and usually starred - in every Swans 2014 performance thus far, so his late scratching (acute café latte overdose) was cause for keen observation of Sydney’s fire-power. It must be said that the Bloods passed with a B-plus. But this was no goal-fest. It was at times a dour struggle, a gritty low-scoring affair played before 37,000 footy-heads on a bitterly cold windy night at the SCG, and as the game went on Sydney looked a bit more like the lock-em down defensive 2005-06 model Swans than the unleash-hell attacking version we’ve been delighted with in 2014 thus far. This was only after a blitzing start - Sydney pushed Essendon from the opening bounce, kicking 2.2 in seven minutes before a scoreless arm-wrestle ensued, the ‘Dons picked up just a single behind point then a long bomb goalward set up a raffle for Madam Goodes and Katy Tippett but Snooky Pyke soared across both of them to snaffle the mark and goal truly. A few minutes later Essendon finally potted a major score after Paddy ‘CC’ Ryder marked on a lead. A total shit-fight ensued, with Essendon stopping Sydney’s run but unable to enter their own forward 50, until Josh ‘Gun-shy’ Kennedy marked way almost at the 50 metre line waaay out on the boundary, an apparently improbable shot but one that looked like a goal from the moment it left his boot. The next goal was also red and white - three minutes from the restart Sam ‘Donna’ Reid took a grab just inside the 50, walked back, lined it up, and sent it soaring through the cat n’ fiddle. Sydney were 20 points ahead and Essendon had to kick the first to stay in touch – this they did, when David ‘Jones’ Myers took a mark at about 55 out, somewhat ambitiously lined up for goal, and sent a wind-assisted shot waaay over the heads of Sydney’s defence. Could the Dons’ be finally gathering some mojo…? Nope. Not in the slightest. Indeed they were very lucky not to be blown off the park as Sydney kicked for goal four times (if two times is twice and three times is thrice – is four times fice…?) through the next ten minutes but missed all four. They didn’t miss the fifth, with Katy Tippet awarded a free and making no mistake with the kick. Tit-for-tat goals and behinds ensued leaving the home side still 28 points ahead at half-time and Essendon simply had to kick the first goal to give them one of those roller-derby slingshot thrusts into the second half of play. Whatever coach Bomber Thompson said to them, it worked. It took nearly ten minutes before any score but it was Essendon’s, a mighty effort from former Cat Paul ‘Chunky’ Chapman who smashed through the middle like a wrecking ball – albeit one without Miley Cyrus astride him in her undies although Chunky strikes me as a bloke who could accommodate that distraction whilst playing footy such is the manic nature of his intent - then booted the pill long to the lead of CC Ryder who took a strong overhead mark 50 metres out and made no mistake despite the distance. Two minutes later Ben ‘The Moon’ Howlett took a grab just inside 50 and suddenly despite all of Sydney’s apparent prior dominance the Dons were up and about and playing with real purpose, now just 16 points in arrears. Err – make that 10, as a couple of minutes later Jake ‘Jaycar’ Carlisle took a grab just 15 out and popped it through with ease. Essendon was gaining ground on Sydney. The next period of play was relentless from both sides - ten minutes of scoreless attrition. Meanwhile, it was so cold in the stands you felt every grueling bump as Essendon threw everything at the Swans – gee it was tough out there. But Sydney held firm, giving nothing away and waiting for their chance. Finally and inevitably it came when big Katy Tippett copped one high and bagged a free kick. The towering unit, a high-rise who doesn’t have a 13th floor, lined it up and made no mistake, and a couple of minutes later Ben ‘Dover’ McGlynn added another as he ran corralled towards the boundary, dropped the ball onto boot in an exploratory attempt that sailed through for arguably the goal of the match as the SCG erupted. Two Essendon forays forward gleaned just minor scores, doing little to help the Bombers cause and at the final break - despite giving their all and being dominant for much of the term - they were still 20 points behind, a big ask in a game where goals were as rare as butterfly sweat. Needless to say - but in any case saying it needlessly – the Bombers had to kick the first goal of the final term. And after tit-for-tat minor scores they did just that when Dyson ‘Sideshow Bob’ Heppell took a mark and kicked a soaring 45 metre goal to reduce the deficit to just 14 points. If Essendon got the next goal it would be game on but Sydney ensured that didn’t happen until it was way too late. Essendon kept on coming, and kept Sydney goal-less until over 20 minutes in but were simply unable to close the gap until Hurley grabbed a juggled mark and kicked truly but all too late to prevent a solid 22-point win for Sydney. Again, a lot to like about how Sydney met the challenge. Luke ‘Nosy’ Parker had yet another cracker of a match, gleaning a career-best 35 touches, Ben ‘Dover’ McGlynn continues his steely determination, doing everything he possibly can to get the Bloods to a GF – and actually play in this one. Mike ‘Snookie’ Pyke again served royally with 49 hit-outs, and Heath ‘Reg’ Grundy ragged tagged and shagged Jake ‘Jaycar’ Carlisle, keeping him to a single goal. Sydney are looking terrific. You gotta feel for their second tier players as this is a bloody tough senior side to break in to. The Swans have used a total of 31 players in the firsts this season – less than any other team in the comp, and have ten players who’ve played every single game – a figure matched only by North Melbourne. Looking at the quality of player running around in Sydney’s ressies fills this old Bloodsman with excitement and the hope that the last weekend of September might be second only to Christmas in terms of giving the Visa card a damn good thrashing. It’s another big challenge for Sydney next weekend as they travel to the Adelaide Oval to take on Port, a team that’ll be seething from their loss to Collingwood and determined to atone for their late season drop-off. Essendon will take on Richmond at Coventry-Lockett Dome. Fremantle v Carlton For followers of the Purple Haze this was to be a night of righteous redemption. And yea, verily, so it was as their boys - determined to erase the memory of that embarrassing 58 point loss to St Kilda last round - banged through five of the first seven goals, and the universe was being put to right – right? Wrong. On the back of some mighty work by skipper Chris ‘Dredd’ Judd Carlton kicked the final two goals of the term and damn near drew level but Chris ‘Narsole’ Yarran missed after the siren. The second stanza was tighter than Warwick Capper’s grundies, both sides missing chances at goal but Freo champ Matty Pavlich not missing the chance to attack the elbow of Carlton’s Nick Graham with his head - not a bright move, with ‘Cotine’s’ elbow coming through unscathed but big Pav going down like a junkie hooker in a phone box, and in a huge blow to the Dockers’ chances was subbed out of the game, their talismanic big guy KO’ed for the second time in two games. Carlton – not shy about taking advantage of the situation – banged through the first four goals of the second half as a murmur of discount tents rippled through the Subiaco crowd. The mood was lifted somewhat when Ryan ‘Creepy’ Crowley sneaked through a later goal, and became positively ebullient a minute or two later when Mike ‘Wheely’ Barrow bunged another one right on the siren to put the local lads just four points in arrears and coming home with a wet sail. The final quarter was played at lunatic pace, each side trading goals – Nat ‘Piccolo’ Fyfe made a cracking run and handballed to Mick ‘The Underachiever’ Barlow who banged it from point-blank range. Carlton’s Jarrad ‘Nazareth’ Waite restored their lead from a set shot, but all of the Blues hard work was undone when ruckman Cameron ‘Birnam’ Wood won a ruck contest and dropped the ball onto his boot but errantly kicked it to Docker Lachie ‘Kinoath’ Neale who gratefully accepted the gift of kicking the match winning goal – a shame that such a great contest was decided through one moment of errant stupidity. Fremantle will consider themselves lucky to escape this encounter with premiership points. They’ll need a bit of luck on their side when they take on the mighty Catters at Kardinia Park next Saturday night. Meanwhile, Carlton will be pretty pissed off and keen to take out their frustrations on the now-underachieving Gold Coast at Coventry-Lockett Dome. Adelaide v West Coast “And you may tell yourself - ‘This is not my beautiful house…’ “. I venture to say that most Crows supporters attended this game in full expectation of a win. Their boys had bonked Collingwood 98-82 last week to lift them into the eight while the Weagles had gone down to Richmond and when the local lads booted the first four goals and led 24-zip in ten minutes the locals were vocal and this looked as if it might be a gay old romp indeed. Not so. West Coast woke up with a start and banged four straight in reply including a double from Jamie ‘Bloods’ Cripps. Adelaide steadied the ship with goals via ‘Punter’ Betts and ‘Jerker’ Jenkins – here we go, they cheered - but Josh ‘Zapruder’ Kennedy poked one through on the gravy stroke of quarter time, and when the underdog Coasters went right on with it after the break, kicking the next four goals straight to lead by 24 points, they had muted the yaketty-yak of the parochial home crowd. Adelaide dug in, three goals in reply to reduce the gap to just 12 points at half-time as the Adelutians rushed to the bars seeking strength. The third term was a ball-tearer, the two teams going goal for goal until finally Adelaide managed two in a row, only to see West Coast do the same, setting up a mere two-point gap at the final break and an epic final term… Or not. West Coast kicked the first six scoring shots, including four goals, before Adelaide bothered the scoreboard with two minor scores and when the Weagles immediately banged through another one you could almost smell the hope oozing from Adelaide orifii. (I am annoyed that the plural of ‘orifice’ is the somewhat prosaic ‘orifices’ - ‘orrified, in fact, so I shall stick with my version.) Adelaide finally managed a fourth-quarter goal about 25 minutes in but it was all-over ruck rover as the Eagles throttled every goal they could out of the Crows as the car park prematurely disgorged disgruntled Crows supporters fleeing the carnage, looking for somewhere to get gruntled. (cue the music.)“And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile…” Same as it ever was… West Coast will enjoy an eight day break before a home game against Collingwood on Sunday while the Crows meet Brisbane at the Gabba. Richmond v GWS When they met in round ten Richmond boned the Jaffas 154-4 on the back of a lazy eleven goals by Reiwoldt. Under close and effective attention by Phil Davis, Spanky was a trifle less potent this time – just one goal and that not until the final term. The Giants had many chances in this match – they mounted a potent challenge in the first term and might have taken the lead in the second but four gettable shots gleaned only minor scores, and making matters worse they’d allowed two Tigers goals that might very feasibly have been touched before crossing the line. They stepped up after half time, bangin’ through three straight goals before the Tige’s bolstered their total with two in a row. GWS never stopped coming at Richmond, but the Tige’s had the skills and gumption required to hold the win. They still have a chance to play finals – mathematically at least. But simple arithmetic won’t do it - it’d take a deep knowledge of algorithms, and as a bloke whose schoolboy absorption of such matters began to glaze over when letters of the alphabet suddenly began appearing in sums (“Miss – there appears to be some mistake. Spelling isn’t until this afternoon.”) and the name of the class changed from ‘arithmetic’ to ‘mathematics’, I’m not the bloke to speak with. Unfortunately this game garnered more conversation about two matters that have nothing to do with actual football. First, two of the six MCG light towers suddenly lost power and faded to black in the second term, plunging the G into a dusky twilight for the rest of the quarter. As distracting as this was it affected both teams equally, and at half time someone found a shilling to put in the meter (ask yer Grandma kids) and rectified the problem. The other talking point was more disturbing. For the second week in a row a Richmond player has brought himself – and, unfortunately, his great footy club - into disrepute via an unnecessary act of violence. Last week it was Ty ‘Idiot Boxer’ Vickery’s roundhouse punch to the moosh of Dean ‘Sucker’ Cox, resulting in a four-week suspension. This week’s incident was arguably worse:- Richmond’s Reece ‘Chestnut’ Conca had been involved in a run-of-the-mill wrestle in which the Giants’ Devon ‘Berliner’ Smith pulled his opponents jumper over his head. (I know – outrageous behaviour.) But Conca was apparently more than slightly piqued about this enforced wardrobe malfunction – so much so that he felt impelled to get up and chase the unsuspecting Giant as he trotted to the interchange gate and give him an forearm-jolt to the back of his head. I hadn’t seen one like that since Killer Karl Cox blind-sided Brute Bernard in “World Champion Wrestling” circa 1972 – but those blokes were paid to do exactly that while Conca’s action was (at the kindest) stupid, and more realistically cheap, gutless, and piss-weak. Geez - talk about “he stoops to Conca.” Smith wasn’t particularly hurt, and he returned to play out the match, but that’s hardly the point – Conca’s action was unconscionable. He’ll deservedly join Ty Vickery in the naughty corner for a few weeks, and will almost certainly cop the ire of his fellow players who will resent Richmond’s new and unwanted status as the ‘king-hit kings’ of the AFL. They’ll also be pissed off to not have all of their best players available because if they’re going to make the finals they’re going to have to do it the hard way, starting with Essendon this Friday night. GWS will host North Melbourne on Saturday. Could be ugly. Gold Coast v St Kilda Was ugly. Nonetheless the Suns had cause to break out the hats and hooters - for the first time ever they won a game without Gary Ablett. The first quarter looked like a barney in Bedlam – indeed in-between the two heated scuffles between large groups of players a football game threatened to break out, and when it did they registered a combined total of 35 ‘clangers’ – to call them unforced errors would be far too kind. But things came together as the second term evolved and the Suns booted two goals in as many minutes before the Sainters answered in kind, to be just seven behind at the long break. Whatever ‘Bluey’ McKenna said to his Gold Coast charges in the break, it worked - they re-entered the fray like men possessed, their intensity way above earlier levels as they banged through three goals in three minutes, catching St Kilda off-guard as they jumped out to a game-high 39-point lead. The Saints fought hard to reduce the margin slightly – particularly via typically great input from retiring star Lenny ‘Purple’ Hayes - but were unable to go on with the job as the Sons o’ Beaches kicked away to a 53-point inaugural Ablett-less win. They’ve also kept their finals hopes alive, albeit with grave concerns for long-term sustenance as they have a ‘Valley of Death’ journey to the end of the regular season, playing Carlton on Saturday afternoon at Coventry-Lockett Dome, then host Port Adelaide, Essendon at CLD, then West Coast at home. Without divine intervention – and by that I don’t mean Ablett casting off his crutches and running out to take control – I venture to say that the Suns O’ Beaches might have to wait another year before they get to play finals footy. I hope I’m wrong. North Melbourne v Geelong I’ve recently expressed doubts about Geelong’s GF prospects, citing their record of holding sway over ‘lesser’ teams - albeit quite unconvincingly at times - but apparently unable to beat opponents in the top end of the ladder. There is cause to review this cynicism. North Melbourne are no slouches, and after a slowish start the Catters put in impressive third and final terms to win by 32 points, putting meat on the bones of their credentials and giving cause to reassess my cynicism. North didn’t particularly help themselves as several undisciplined acts accentuated the ‘ire’ in umpire. But one incident worked a treat for the Kangas - Lindsay ‘Diver Dan’ Thomas was leading to the ball when his marker James ‘Scully’ Kelly appeared to grab at his jumper. Obviously attempting to milk a free kick from this innocuous tug, Thomas threw himself forward as if rear-ended by a wayward caber at the Commonwealth Games. Even a soccer referee would have difficulty accepting the legitimacy of his dive but it was apparently sufficiently eye-catching to garner a free kick and a goal. And an average 9.9 score due to the degree of difficulty and attractive landing. North play GWS at Homebush on Saturday afternoon, while Geelong bunker down at their Kardinia Park citadel to battle Fremantle. The Cats were terrific against North Melbourne, but one Swallow does not make an Andrew. If they sink the Dockers I’ll be happy to retract my skepticism and give them their due. Melbourne v Brisbane In a polar opposite to some of the free-flowing entertaining goal-fests of late, Melbourne and Brisbane played out a dour low-scoring struggle for three quarters until the Lions somehow broke it open and went on a rampage, booting six unanswered goals and beating Melbourne by 23 points. The third term was about as grim as it gets, with just a single goal scored, but Brisbane came alive in the final term, more than doubling their score via a six goals blitz while the Demons added just one. A pretty crappy game but on the upside for the first three quarters the unfortunate souls in attendance could go the dunny, pick up a pie and chips at the food concession, then grab a beer and return to their seat in the confidence that they wouldn’t miss anything of note. Brisbane’s Daniel ‘Meteor’ Merritt will have a nervous few days, as well he should, after a late hit on Dee Cameron ‘Campy’ Peterson. It was probably clumsy more than malicious, and certainly wasn’t in the league of his round three “say hello to my little friend” forearm jolt on Gold Coast’s David ‘Gobful’ Swallow, but it was clearly dangerous and one has to think that the tribunal will take his earlier transgression into account. I can’t see him meriting another game this year. Hawthorn v Western Bulldogs A regulation win for Hawthorn who jumped the Doggies early with four goals before the Dogs had time to draw breath. Footscray had wonderful periods of play, getting to within 13 points in the first quarter and 17 in the third but whenever the Bulldogs asked the question the Hawkers had an answer. They then put them to the sword in a brutal second half. Jarryd ‘Pretty-boy’ Roughead kicked six – as many as the Bulldogs could manage collectively. Hawthorn’s forward combo of Pretty-boy, Jack ‘Bleeder’ Gunston, and Luke ‘Brewsky’ Bruest is a problem for any defence – pay too much attention to one, and the others will do you like an all-you-can-eat dinner. Pretty-boy kicked a goal in every quarter, Bleeder kicked three before being taken off with a slight ankle issue early in the fourth term. Aurora Stadium in Launceston has developed into a very safe home away from home for the Hawks – this was their fourth win from four outings there this season, they’ve lost just one of their last 19 games there. (see photo - below) Collingwood v Port Adelaide The final match of the weekend and what a thriller it turned out to be. No surprise really as there was so much at stake for both sides. After a world-beating start to the season Port began to show signs of humanity several weeks ago when they went down to their cross-town rivals in round 15, followed by that two-point loss to Essendon, then a surprise flaying by Richmond. They won last week but let’s be honest, a three-point win over Melbourne convinces nobody, so a fair bit was riding on their performance in this game. The game was tighter than Abbott’s spandex through the first term with just three goals kicked betwixt ‘em, then opened up as the second quarter progressed, with Collingwood pulling out in front via goals to Tim ‘Sabco’ Broomhead and Jamie ‘Jelly’ Elliott. But the Power answered with aplomb – indeed they stuck in their thomb and pulled out aplomb, booting three of the last four goals of the term. As it so often does, the premiership quarter brought out the best in both sides. I’m not saying for a minute that the players got stuck into the horse go-fast juice whilst in the sheds, just sayin’ that in the third term some of the players looked like they were champin’ at the bit for a rails run. Especially young Port star Hamish Hartlett – if indeed that is his real name cos he sounds like a character from an Emily Bronte novel, hence I shall call him Heathcliff – who went on a rampage, kicking three goals in 15 minutes including a monster roost from well outside the 50. ‘Sabco’ Broomhead bristled at this temerity and swept forward to goal, bringing Collingwood to just a point behind, and when Steele ‘Frontbum’ Sidebottom gathered from a Jesse ‘Schwartzer’ White tap and kicked truly the Magpies were in front by five points at the last break and the Monochrome Army got so excited that their blood pressure damn near blew the tattoos clean off their bodies. The final quarter was played at fever-pitch - a highly inappropriate expression given that Port isolated two players from the squad before this game, concerned that bouts of gastroenteritis may indicate viral meningitis, but one I’ll run with in any case. It was tit-for-tat goals to start the quarter, the Pies bagged another to put them up by 11, then came a ten minute period in which Collingwood had the ball locked into their forward half and by rights should’ve put the game beyond the Power but three unsuccessful shots in five minutes left the door open and the welcome mat out. Never let it be said that Port are ingrates – they gladly accepted Collingwood’s invitation and spent the next five minutes camped in their forward 50 but their two shots for goal were mere one-pointers, and with 12 points needed to draw the match it appeared they’d run out of time. Appearances can be deceptive, as anyone who’s visited Bangkok’s Patpong Road will attest, but in this case they told the tale – Port bagged another goal which reduced the gap to just six points, but the siren sounded almost immediately after the restart, the Monochrome Army celebrating a mighty win, arguably their best this season and absolutely wonderful for their finals prospects. The premiership points propelled the Pies into the eight – only just, they’re in eighth spot - but with a game next weekend against West Coast, then Brisbane, then GWS, they’re a good chance to improve their standing in the eight before a final round blockbuster against Hawthorn, a perfect opponent on the eve of the finals series to prepare them for what will be required to go further into September. Port Adelaide have a pretty stiff challenge too. Having beaten only Melbourne in their last five games – and that by just three points – they now face the Swans on Saturday night at the Adelaide Oval. Port’s dominance at home earlier this year caused the venue to be nicknamed ‘The Portress’. If Port’s gastroenteritis issues carry further into this week perhaps ‘The Pootress’ might be more apt. C’arn footy in general PJ FRE 5.1 6.5 8.7 12.11 (83) CAR 4.2 4.6 8.11 11.12 (78) SYD 5.3 7.8 9.8 11.13 (79) ESS 1.1 3.4 6.6 8.9 (57) ADE 6.0 9.2 15.7 16.9 (105) WC 5.5 10.8 14.11 20.16 (136) RICH 3.2 8.5 10.10 13.11 (89) GWS 2.3 2.7 6.10 8.14 (62) GC 2.5 5.7 11.12 17.15 (117) STK 1.3 4.6 7.9 9.10 (64) NM 2.7 3.9 8.14 10.19 (79) GEE 2.6 8.8 11.12 16.15 (111) MEL 3.3 4.8 5.13 6.15 (51) BRIS 3.3 4.3 5.6 11.8 (74) HAW 5.2 7.6 11.7 16.11 (107) WB 2.1 2.5 5.7 6.9 (45) COLL 2.3 6.6 9.7 11.10 (76) PA 1.0 5.7 8.8 10.10 (70)
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 09:02:46 +0000
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