PLAY THE FRIEND REQUEST GAME When I receive a friend request I play a little game. I try to guess which country the person comes from. Here are my tips if you would like to play too. Check the name. If it uses almost the entire alphabet in an apparently random order, you have your first clue. Then check the persons status updates. If their updates are always a single paragraph but so long you have to scroll down repeatedly until RSI sets in, you have your second clue. The clincher is to find many scathing comments about politicians (and fellow countrymen) together with photos of a man wearing a trilby hat—you have a Nigerian. If the request is not from a Nigerian, I look at the photo albums. The first clue is finding pages and pages of photos of food. Food on plates, food being cooked or tables bowing under the shear weight of food. The second is to find photos of large groups of smiling, happy young people (actually its pretty obvious they are all drunk), together with photos of people sitting on the beach and people holding babies. Yes, you have a Filipino! Once I have ruled out Nigerians and Filipinos, I look for Americans. Some are easy to spot. Just look for someone with a long, invented middle name, such as Molly Dontconfusemewithmybloodytwinsister Smith. But, for Americans who eschew the long middle name, there is another dead giveaway. Look for photos of President Obama. A photo of Obama is not decisive in itself—he is a famous man and liked around the world. The clue is the message that goes with the photo... If the message is either that Obama is a secret Muslim/illegal immigrant who has single-handedly wrecked the US economy OR that he is the best President since Washington who has miraculously rescued the US economy from the pit of Hell, you have an American. Finally, if you find someone who constantly complains about the weather, loves fish n chips and refers to Americans as our colonial cousins, youve found yourself a Brit! If I havent insulted you yet, Im sorry. Ill get to you next time! Have a wonderful year. PS Please add your own observations.
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 12:46:11 +0000
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