PRE-CRUISE TRAINING Hello Fellow Members of the Carnival Liberty Olympic Drinking Team!!! I hope everyone is well and following a pre-cruise training program to properly prepare for our journey. Thats right cruisers, 17 meals a day regardless if you are hungry or not... yes, ice cream and apple strudel are ok for breakfast. Beginning today, try to live in your place using only ONE electric outlet... rotate those cell phone chargers, shavers, hair dryers, and laptops...you will thank me for this tip later. As for the towels, if you want to fold them into strange creatures while youre still at home, be my guest and good luck trying, but... if you leave them on the floor, you will find them on the floor when you get home at night... youll have to wait till 1/3 for someone to replace that wet, used towel with a nice fresh one. (First time cruisers will laugh at that once they see the signs hanging on the towel rack in the bathroom). Lets see, what else... ah yes.... conditioning the liver! Cmon, admit it folks, no one is going on this trip to drink water for 8 days! My advice...find your drink and stick with it! Now I know what you seasoned Carnival cruisers are thinking....but Roy, I HAVE to have the Funship Special as soon as I get on the ship (maybe 6 or 7 of them by the time the ship sets sail) then a few beers or frozen drinks during sail-away, some wine with dinner, maybe a cordial after that, and maybe back to beer or booze for the rest of the night.....and MAYBE even some shots!!! Good grief, my liver is starting to twitch just thinking about it! See why proper liver conditioning is so essential?!?! (OK...for those NOT laughing ... this is SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY...lighten up!!!) Oh, and since I’m cruising on a Casino promotion, here are some helpful tips to help you navigate through the casino! What better place to throw all your hard-earned money away than in the Casino! But, at least if you lose, you should look like you know what youre doing! Casino training tip of the day...find an online casino site that is FREE and practice the table games such as 3-Card Poker, Let-it-Ride, Let-it-Ride Bonus, Carribean Stud Poker, Craps, Roulette, Blackjack, Fun-21, Texas Hold Em, etc. Get the hang of betting and how the game works BEFORE you try the real thing. That will save the rest of us at the table the agony of sitting there when you pull up a chair, trying a game you never even heard of, trying to understand the instructions from a dealer with a foreign accent so thick, you cant even tell what game he is giving you instructions for! Some tips for the table players... - if there are chairs...SIT. Or you will be told to sit. - keep your cards over the table at all times. Failure to obey this rule will result in a very annoyed pit boss having a chat with you (yes, I know you didnt know...but now you know) - if you pick up your cards, and have a REALLY GREAT hand...please refrain from standing up (remember the chair rule) and running through the casino with your cards yelling I WON, I WON, I WON, showing your cards to everyone in the place. Not only will you be chased and tackled by the pit boss, three 4 7 security guards, and the ships physician with a syringe loaded with tranquilizers....youll also forfeit your winnings! (Please dont ask me how I know this) - when playing craps, remember...the table is not that long, you dont have to wind up like a major league pitcher to get the dice to the other end. Too much gusto on the toss will result in those babies bouncing off the table. Also...as with the cards...keep the dice over the table. For the slot players... - know the denomination of the machine youre playing before you hit MAX BET. You may be surprised that one spin on a NICKEL machine may cost you $15.00. For example, hitting MAX BET on a nickel machine with 15 pay lines, where you can play up to 20 credits (nickles) a line may not calculate to much in your head, but trust me, its a $15.00 spin. This reality break...brought to you by...ME! Coming up....Tips for First-time Cruisers!
Posted on: Thu, 18 Dec 2014 17:03:22 +0000
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