PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE Like how things always not been equal same way life before marriage can be, it’s also involves with our upbringing and many more, simply because not all of us grew up in a healthy family homes. Maybe we grew up in a single parent home, or had an absentee parent, emotionally unavailable parent, or there could have been addiction and abuse present. We carry our past experiences with us, until we learn to overcome the past messages and reshape our faulty thinking patterns, beliefs, expectations, the way that we speak, and how we approach relationships through our life skills. We can tear down destructive root systems built upon poor life experiences and establish healthy relationship skills, communication, conflict resolution, and coping skills, to have successful relationships. Children are only as healthy as their family, and a family is only as healthy as the couple, and couples are only as healthy as each individual. The way that you as an individual have developed your patterns of thought, expectations, life, and relationship skills, affect the overall health of your marriage. You need healthy self-image, a sense of self-esteem that agrees with how God sees you, or your marriage relationship is affected. For example, if your spouse has a faulty identity and is insecure and doesn’t like them self then compliments, encouragement, and even love can bounce right off the stronghold wall. Another possibility is that they may operate in distrust, jealousy, or control. If you have a spouse who won’t talk about difficult issues in the relationship because their coping skill is avoidance, how can you communicate with them? You cannot do healthy conflict resolution without communication. Communication and conflict resolution skills are required to maintain a happy and healthy relationship. The Bible is an instruction book that we have received, yet we need a clear understanding through the clinical counseling process to develop thinking, life, and relationship skills that agree with biblical principles. The best marriage counseling considers that we were created by God as body, soul, and spirit, with two individuals joined together as one. Couples come together with different past experiences, beliefs, and behaviors. Effective marriage counseling provides lasting solutions, considers the root system that created the presenting problems, and heals the marriage from the roots up. When you receive marriage counselling, you will receive this kind of counseling in agreement with biblical principles. You will gain a road map and a check list to identify what healthy and also destructive behaviors in marriage look like. You will learn tools and develop skills to navigate through your challenges and overcome. All it takes is two people willing to learn and grow, and each individual, the marriage, and your family can be transformed. Once we know what the Bible says we should be looking for, we can begin actively looking for a spouse/preparing for marriage, trusting that God will bring him or her into our lives in His perfect timing. If we pray, God will lead us to the person He has for us. It is important to wait on the Lord and trust in Him (Proverbs 3:5) Amen.
Posted on: Thu, 28 Nov 2013 10:07:05 +0000
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