PRESS RELEASE: JINDAL HIRES DISNEY TO RECREATE WETLANDS IN MOVE DESIGNED TO ALLAY FEARS OF TOURISM LEADERS (Baton Rouge, April 1, 2014) LA Governor Jindal (R), while not admitting that the state’s wetlands are vanishing, has hired The Walt Disney Company (NYSE:DIS) to create “Wetlands Adventure” with audioanimatronic wildlife. The move was designed, said Jindal, so tourism dollars are not impacted by global warming, which he denies. “Louisiana’s wetlands are thriving and in tact,” said Governor Jindal at a press conference with Disney executives. “Spurious law suits against energy interests are unnecessary and bad for our economy.” The Governor was referring to a law suit claiming that oil and gas concerns owe Louisiana money to rebuild its wetlands. The wetlands are widely believed to be the first line of defense against mega-storms like Katrina. “Baloney,” said Jindal. “So-called ‘scientists’ also believe that the 3,000 miles of canals clawing into the state’s coast have created an ecological disaster. “That’s categorically deniable,” he said. “We’re in no way losing a football field of land off of our coast every half an hour. In fact, we’ve gained a good deal of land by pursuing a program of discarding used Christmas trees at the river’s mouth.” “But just in case something does happen in the near future,” Jindal was quick to add, “our friends at Disney have developed an attraction that will allow visitors to see and experience what the wetlands were – are.” Jindal also unveiled plans to relocate the historic French Quarter, brick by brick, to Baton Rouge in order to preserve its integrity. “Baton Rouge is the capital and as an inland port,” he said, “it should be the curator and protector of Louisiana’s most historic sites.” For more information on this April Fool’s Release, contact Morgan Molthrop at Custom Convention + Tailored Tours, customconventions or 504-657-6670. Custom Conventions + Tailored Tours is New Orleans’ leading cultural tourism provider.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 17:06:58 +0000
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