PROBLEM: Think it, but dont over-think it. This has always been one of my most hated faults. I let things sneak into my head and strike up residence without acknowledging them, without facing them head on upon arrival. Instead of dealing with a little bit of nothing, I wind up having to deal with a blown up version of ickiness. That in itself would be tolerable, I think, but these little nothings always bring friends...masters of misdirection, making me question everything, yet not letting me fully think through anything. I truly hate being at odds with life on lifes terms. SOLUTION: I really need to learn to be more aware of these things when they enter my head, facing them head on, talking them out of my thoughts, upon the onset, instead of letting them eat my lunch to the point of making a mess of so many areas of my life all at once. I need to learn to be more forward when I need to talk to people, when something is bothering me, instead of just putting it away in my mind and assuming it will just go away. ACTION: Moving forward, if I am bothered by something, I will try to address it quickly, before it grows from a grain of sand into an ocean of disaster. I have a right to feel the way I feel, but unfortunately am not always the most eloquent at explaining that thought process, as I am conditioned by my life to fear the attack, the lash-back. Moving forward, I need to work on eradicating that fear. On standing up for myself. SILVER LINING: Regardless of the issues of yesterday, I went to bed clean and sober last night. I woke up the same way today. I am breathing today. I still have resentments, but I also have a desire to make amends (I have more than one sorry I owe today). I have a new, healthy reminder of my unmanageables, the things beyond my control, the level of sick/crazy that my mind still contains. And today, thats a good thing, as it means I am still teachable, that while I may not have conquered my thoughts, I AM trying to learn from the effect they have on my life. Looks like I have a lot to accomplish today! Time to get to it! For all of you, I pray that you have begun your day with gratitude for the breath you take, the trees you see, the wind in your hair...smile, folks! It is SURE to brighten someone elses day! Much love, all!!!!!
Posted on: Tue, 04 Nov 2014 15:43:24 +0000
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