(Page 214) A SIDS Baby There is an insidious and disturbing tendency to place some of the blame for victims of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome on the mother, subtly implying a lack of vigilant care or some other horrific accusation. This is a tragic mistake, creating a burden much too heavy for the mothers to bear. This attitude stems from gross ignorance and must stop. I’m sure the mothers punish themselves in ways too numerous to know, without the added insult of whispered accusations regarding parenting skills. The focus instead should be on helping the mothers to heal from their grief so they can become whole again. Koyo Lennon is a beautiful Japanese woman, newly married to an American serviceman. She speaks almost no English. She has left her family in Japan to birth her baby in the US. How she got to me I haven’t a clue, but there she is walking up the walk to my front door in a snowstorm. The only Japanese word I know is “Obrigato”, which means “thank you”, which I say to her when we are introduced and it makes her laugh. She is willowy and slender and appears to be far less pregnant than the seven months she claims to be. It is with some concern that I learn that she has been practicing the Japanese custom of belly binding. The binder is cinched so tightly around her abdomen that I am worried that it may have inhibited the proper growth of the baby. This also makes her laugh. When she unwinds her belly band, there is a very healthy, normal size baby residing in her deceivingly tiny body. She says it is tradition that her family and ancestors always practiced belly binding during their pregnancies. They believe it keeps the baby in the proper position for birth. I find this fascinating. Her baby is obviously thriving, so I ask her to show me the technique for future reference. The only word I can think of to describe Koyo is “inscrutable”. I don’t mean to be stereotypic, but she is classically unmovable and silent. She births her baby with hardly a grimace. I guess the belly band works because her babe is born head first without a snag, with a thicket full of incredibly lustrous black hair. Koyo elegantly delivers an eight pound girl, which seems nearly impossible from her slender frame. The baby appears almost as big as her mother. I had been concerned that Koyo may be too small to deliver, but she brings the babe in with such ease, that this time when I say, “Obrigato” to her, I mean it. A month later, they come to see me for Koyo’s six week postpartum checkup. They are also going to bring their daughter, Shizuka, to her pediatrician for her DPT immunization. The new family seem fine and in good spirits. When they ask me to recommend a good restaurant to dine in after Shizuka’s shots, I tell them the name of my favorite, local health food eatery. Within 24 hours, they find Shizuka convulsing on her futon cot. I get the frantic, bereaved phone call that every midwife dreads. I drive to them immediately. They tell me that they had actually discovered their daughter in the midst of the episode, convulsing and turning blue, but by the time EMS help arrived, it was too late. A horrible, horrible ordeal. (...to be continued) ~from LADYS HANDS, LIONS HEART, A MIDWIFES SAGA, Bad Beaver Publishing, 2010
Posted on: Wed, 07 Jan 2015 14:33:30 +0000
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