Paraprosdokians Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. - I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnt work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. - I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Going to church doesnt make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. - The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But its still on the list. - Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. - If I agreed with you, wed both be wrong. - We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public. - War does not determine who is right - only who is left. - Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Evening news is where they begin with Good evening and then proceed to tell you why it isnt. - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research. - A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. - How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? - Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you cant help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. - Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish. - I didnt say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you. - Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet? - Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ? - Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. - The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! - Always borrow money from a pessimist. He wont expect it back. - A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip. - Hospitality: making your guests feel like theyre at home, even if you wish they were. - Money cant buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. - Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. - I used to be indecisive. Now Im not sure. - When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. - Youre never too old to learn something stupid. - To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. - Nostalgia isnt what it used to be. - Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever. - A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. - If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child? - Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Posted on: Tue, 24 Jun 2014 07:58:49 +0000